Nate

There are some fragments and run-ons, but nothing too bad. I mostly had a problem with the exagerated examples. You started off fine, with examples of a persistent boy calling ...

Just because you don't understand the other side does not make them racist or stupid. I favor more immigration and support Bush's guest worker proposal. I also support amnesty under ...

Saw your post about no crits over in The Lounge, and it was one of the few complaints that I've read that didn't sound like a complaint, so I wandered ...

Since this is a raw emotion type piece, I'll ignore the grammar mistakes, which are numerous! But, the grammar mistakes don't matter since, again, this is raw emotion; not a ...

To us non-LOTR fans, an explanation of who the Numenoreans are would be helpful :) I can't speak about the content of the poem since I don't know what Numenoreans ...

The dialogue is great. It flows well, it's realistic, and it actually breathes life into the characters. Superb on that account. You have three different scenes here, that while connected, ...

I'm not sure what to make of this poem. I thought about it for a while, and I can't figure out half of it, such as, why is he slipping ...

I thought that this was really well done; you had me hooked just after the first two sentences. There were some grammatical issues, but nothing really that important. However, don't ...

You need to take the time to proofread this. Preferably, proofreading should always be done by someone other than the writer so you might try getting your parents or a ...

"sorrow and tragedies" should be "sorrows and tragedies" since the rest of the stanza is in plural form. "i am trying to forget what is" This line works as is, ...

I'm confused about who exactly Liberty is; that is, the narrator came off as too ambigious. I assume it's a woman since Liberty is more of a female name, but ...

The structure is a bit weird just in that the way you arrange words is somewhat confusing; that is, I tend not to like it when writers use Yoda-speak, which ...

You need to spend more time editing your stories. But anyways... This is really good! It's quite humorous and it's kind of like an essay written through the viewpoint of ...

I don't really quite like this; like bubblewrapped said, it lacks jazz. That is, there's nothing actually wrong with it, and the flow is actually done quite well, but there's ...

Aye, this needs to be proofread. But other than that... Like Snoink, I appreciated the change in the typical suicidal story; usually it's about some dreary, whiney teenager talking about ...