Young Writers Society

Oh, well, this is a surprise ^^ Thank you very much, Iluvialover!

I can imagine them sing it already. I really like it, reminds me of shakespeare.

Well well! I must say I am honoured to be critiqued by the Head Chimp himself!

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I won't say it just came to me, but the content kind of did, and I just put it all together in a way that, well...would go together! As for the last line, and even the line before that, I wasn't sure about myself, and I'm glad someone's noticed my own plight (and responded to it)*! Now I believe I owe an explanation(I wasn't sure if it would be allowed, I believe I read it somewhere in the poetry thread rules...)

We must delve back to the coming of man perhaps, in the First Age of the Sun. The elves were already long established in the world(more so in Valinor, and Beleriand(it gets swollen up by a massive wave that leaves only the small chunk of land east of the Blue Mountains/Ered Luin-Westernmost mountain range in Middle-Earth) Some years after the coming of the sun, men came over the Blue Mountains, and into Beleriand. Now three tribes of men in particular became the 'Elf friends', of course because they befriended the elves and helped them, who in turn were helped by them. Years passed as the struggle with Morgoth(the first Dark Lord) continued, until finally at the end of that First Age, elves, gods, and the 'Elf Friends' came together and defeated him utterly in a colossal battle. These men(the elf friends) were looked upon with much reverence by the gods(Valar) and were given leave to live on Numenore(which was raised from the sea), an island in the middle of the Great Sea; in between Valinor and Middle-Earth. There many came and dwelt on that island, and their lives were increased threefold. They were considered Great amongst the men on earth, and happy were the people who scried them and had dealings with them. But soon their hearts were troubled, and they longed for longer life, and opposed the ban imposed upon them by the Valar-to never sail in the west(for it was not the doom of all men to set foot on immortal lands, and for them to, they would become enamoured by immortality, and never find joy until they had it ). Consequently, the folk of Numenore was divided-on the one hand you had the 'normal Numenoreans'(those opposed to the band etc.) on the other you had the 'Faithful', those who still had dealings with elves(keeping their title 'elf friends'), and had no part in this opposition. The faithful, as such, were prosecuted heavily.
Another thing- Of old, Earendil was a mortal(with elven blood in him-longer story...) and came to Valinor, and was the first mortal to set foot(technically) on it. He was doomed to wear a Silmaril(Holy Jewel; gives of a bright, pure light) on his brow, and sail the heavens-hence: 'Ye who sail on winds up high. Earendil produced two sons afore his voyage-Elros and Elrond. Elros stayed human, Elrond chose to become an elf(Earendil was of both blood...). Elros became the first king of Numenore, from which all later are akin. Soooo, theoretically, the Faithful Numenoreans are singing this song in the final days of Numenore, ere its doom was fully wrought and it was sunk(because the last king decided to assail Valinor with a 'Grande Armada' hoping to take immortality, well, this clearly defied the ban). They sing to Earendil himself, so he may *what the poem implies*. Hope that cleared a few things up. Ah, and 'aster' is a)a flower (which also comes in white) and b)star in greek(to be honest I first heard it in a song...About Elbereth, the maker of stars!)

*I find the ending line wraps everything up, to be said kinda slowly...

Muse-Thanks, and I hope the above explanation rectfies your confusion!

*is confused* sounds pretty though..and yeah..what nate said.

To us non-LOTR fans, an explanation of who the Numenoreans are would be helpful

I can't speak about the content of the poem since I don't know what Numenoreans are or who/what Aster is, but you have implemented a good rhyming scheme here. That is, it doesn't sound forced and actually sounds good. I especially like it in the third and fourth lines, where it picks up and adds a nice change of beat. However, the last line does not seem necessary and detracts from the rest of the poem.