Napier

This a a story with lots of potential that hasn't really been realised yet. There is nowt much else I can say really, when all that I think should happen ...

Ooh, gruesome, I like it! You have the ability to conjure great lyrical stories, keep at it! There could have been some extra measures taken to ensure it "looks the ...

This was horrible! You're writing; pretty good! But the ideas! You have a good hand with cringe-worthy writing! It is a bit short. It could have used more description to ...

Freaking majestic! Wow- you should write more my friend- you're damn good at it! Why didn't you tell us? This is very descriptive- you've already shown us that your description ...

You know I usually oppose fanfiction (Davethepenquin is wrong, by the way, I find that fanfiction has the ability to hinder creativity. As a first story, I think that writers ...

Yuck- this kind of amazing, vivid description is the kind of thing that would make me reluctant to drink, in fear of a gruesome hangover like this! I love how ...

I remember this poem! Ahem. I really like it- it's really smooth and easy to read; actually quite beautiful how the structure is lay out. The rhyme scheme is great ...

Woah, man, this was werid- and I like it! Luckily I was eating a bowl of Weetabix and milk, otherwise I would have been parched, old bean! Your description of ...

I really like this- as a rule I don't really like fanfiction, but you've done some seriously good stuff with this piece. The beginning is great- he's pissed off because ...

This was great! A fantastic message given in a very humorous way, this made me smile a lot. My only nitpick: I think the line "What's worse?" breaks up the ...

This is actually really sad! It's so good that you can write sad, for want of a better word, stuff and still have the tone of a character's voice- this ...

This is REALLY good- great language and such and it really intrigues me. Are the BEEPs at the end an alarm clock- is this a dream? Great stuff. Just a ...

Ha! This is brilliant, lovely quick read to cheer me up! Your writing is great, both the characters of Adam and Eve have been described as very strong characters, even ...

Jesus- demons! Love it, love the descriptions, beautiful writing- you have such a way with words! I think some of the sentences could be shortened slightly, for example at the ...

Wow, this is seriously amazing. Lovely, powerful imagery- you have the makings of an expert poet! I think that maybe the words in italics (trust me, I found this idea, ...