Myth

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * “Keep Going! You’re almost there!” ‘Going’ shouldn’t be capitalised, you make the same mistake in the repeated part. “RIIIII

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * This is my life, darlin’s. It’s like a perpetual road trip; sure, you got deadlines but it’s like Damn I ...

Green = Comment/Correction Black = Review * I couldn’t help but noticing that they hadn’t actually included Jack Ashby – that little slip-up might have been too strange even for ...

Only thing I can comment on is the repetition of ‘her’: The wind lifted her hair from her shoulders and it waved in front of her , whipping in her ...

I love how you manage to get each characters voice right, and Samantha correcting her mistakes. Pap reminds me of Lennie from Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men , I think ...

Plenty of typos in there and a few sentences that you didn't really complete such as: Jacob came over to me and lifted my. I think I've said this before, ...

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * I looked at it and it read six o’clock. Maybe you could take out the bits before the second ‘it’: ...

Green = Comment/Correction Black = Review * Their expressions [s]were ones[/s] of blissful satisfaction, expressions she had never seen on a human being before. I feel as if this could ...

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * The city was dazzling 4 years ago. Better to have the number written out. The skyscrapers peeping out from the ...

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * He tended to enjoy the pitter-patter feeling of water droplets on his face, so he simply never bothered with covering ...

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * As she entered the room, she could only see darkness, no moving, no sign of life, nothing that would interfere ...

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * Dalyth smiled. “Our disadvantage is his as well. He has no reason to attack, anyways . We are leaving the ...

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * “ It doesn’t have to again this way ,” he told her again. “Come of your own free will, sister. ...

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * He would be a little chubby and kind of squat, but would have a smiling, good-natured face that was very ...

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * He slid as far away from her as he could, and looked at the city that had just left faded ...