okay, here's Chapter 4!
Chapter 4
Later that night, I lay awake in the bed clutching the duvet cover tightly in my hands. I was in my black silk nightie and it was also ten o’clock but I was much too stressed to go to sleep. The interview with Jack on TV earlier had deeply shaken me.
“What did he mean by that?” I wondered aloud, my voice echoing strangely in the otherwise silent room. “Is Jack actually in love with me? Why didn’t he tell me?”
I cast my mind back to the night we had spent together. If anyone asked, including Nicholas, I’d say I’d been too drunk to remember most of it. But the truth was… I hadn’t been drunk that night, just a little bit tipsy. And obviously a lot more confident, seeing as I was normally so shy. And another truth was – something I’d only ever confided to Liza – was that I could remember every single detail of that night.
When Nicholas and I had first got together he had obviously already read about the incident in the newspaper but I told him I had been too drunk to remember any details of my night with Jack, just to stop him from worrying. He and Jack weren’t really on good terms, they had been friends years ago, they’d even done a couple of duets together but then they’d had a massive falling-out.
I could tell that Nicholas was still ever so slightly upset about the fact that I’d actually slept with Jack, although I had done him no wrong in doing so as we (Nicholas and I) weren’t seeing each other at the time. I guessed it was just a male pride thing.
For about the thousand time that day, I moved my hand slowly onto my stomach. Again I could feel no physical difference. But it was as if I could somehow sense the baby was there – that it was inside my mind, reading my thoughts, crying out for help, a weak, helpless little thing that only wanted to be loved and taken care of.
I rolled over onto my side and stared out of the window into the night. It was pitch dark outside, but the streets had been lit and now cast an almost eerie orange glow over the street. Since we were so high up, all I could see was the building opposite, with only a few lights still on. But there was still a lot of snow on the rooftops. At least there was no longer snow falling from the sky; I had been worried about Nicholas coming home on those icy roads.
Suddenly the telephone on the bedside table rang out shrilly, making me jump. Tiredly, I picked up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Hi, Courtney, is that you? It’s Liza.”
“Liza?” I suddenly felt much more awake. “Oh, hi, I was gonna call you tomorrow! How are you getting on?”
“Oh, I’m doing great – my paycheque came through today so I went out shopping this afternoon and got some new clothes. There have been seven letters for you since you left – I put them all on the mantelpiece so you can pick them up when you come home. I really miss you, though,” she added in a sad tone.
“I know, I miss you too,” I replied. “But I’m definitely coming back next week – Nicholas’s private jet is gonna take me back up on Thursday afternoon – he’s gonna stay with a friend in Edinburgh, but he’ll come along to visit me every day.”
“Awww, that’s sweet,” Liza beamed. “And also, your parents called this morning – they lost the number of the hotel so they asked me to pass on this message – they want to know if you can make it to their house on Christmas Day.”
“Oh yeah, that’s no problem – that’s three weeks away, I can arrange that. And you know what? You have no proper family to spend Christmas with this year – so why don’t you borrow mine?” I said, with a giggle.
“Really?” Liza gasped delightedly.
“Oh, of course! It’s the lest I can do for my very best friend – and I know my family would love to meet you, they’ve been really curious about it ever since I let you stay with me seven months ago. They know I was really excited about getting my own flat and having independence, so they were surprised when I said I had someone staying with me.”
“Yeah, I know, and I really, really do appreciate you taking me in, Courtney,” Liza said gratefully.
“Well, I couldn’t exactly let you stay where you were and suffer that awful mother of yours any more, now, could I?” I said, with a fond smile. “All right then, it’s settled – me and you can go along to my parent’s house on Christmas Day and have dinner with them – Nicholas will be spending Christmas Day with his kids, I know, but we’ll definitely see each other on Boxing Day.”
“That’s good then. I’m really looking forward to it,” Liza said, sounding overwhelmed with such lovely news. “By the way, um…” her voice suddenly turned slightly shifty, “There was an interview with Jack Ashton on the TV earlier, did you see that?”
“Yeah, I caught part. And of course, it just had to be the part where he mentioned me, coincidentally,” I muttered, pulling the warm, cosy duvet cover in more tightly around me.
“Oh yeah, I know – I only watched that interview because I’d read about it in the TV Guide and there was nothing good on – but he took a big risk by saying what he said. The media could’ve done some serious damage with that,” Liza said wisely.
“It’s done some serious damage to me too, I think,” I said weakly, glancing down at my stomach.
“Oh dear, I was afraid of that,” Liza said worriedly. “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay with this, Courtney? If you need me to be there for you I can get a train down there tomorrow.”
“No, it’s okay, really – I have Nicholas to look after me. I know he doesn’t know the whole truth about that night with Jack, but he can protect me from the media,” I mumbled. “But I will give you a call if I feel the need to talk about it, okay, Liza?”
“Sure, you call me anytime you want, Courtney – even if it’s three in the morning, I’ll be there, to help you through it. I promise you that,” Liza said reassuringly.
“Thanks, Liza,” I said gratefully, then I let out an enormous yawn. “Oh, I’m really tired – I suppose I’d better get to bed.”
“Yeah, okay. Try to keep your spirits up, Courtney – I’ll see you next Thursday, okay?” she said.
“Yeah, goodbye,” I said, and I put the phone down before she could say anything else. I now had a horrible guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach – Liza and I were such close friends, we normally shared absolutely everything – I couldn’t bear keeping secrets from her. Plus I really wasn’t coping well with this on my own – I really needed her support. If anyone could help me get through this difficult time, then it was her.
“Okay, I will do it, I will,” I said aloud to the silent room, just as more tiny snowflakes began to fall outside the window. “When I get back on Thursday, I’ll tell her.”
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