Misty

This is actually quite good for your age. ^_^ I thought the imagery was nice.

Ouch. But no, he's totally right. Imitate the best, and eventually you'll form your own ideas--and your ideas will sound better.

with the living mind of the beautiful poseur, the magic rambling of the wanted whore? Beautiful. All else can go if you keep this.

Meh. I didn't like it, but I didn't dislike it. It was very, "meh." "Not everything needs a metaphor." Cheers to that.

And thwack Him with a cudgel. This singular line made the poem worth reading. Other than that, it was a laugh. It's rhythm seemed a bit off, but I'm useless ...

Mod or no mod, the slap is there. And I'm not complaining to anyone, merely suggesting. That's what this website is for. I've been here for about three years and ...

P.S. Last thing--you say a girl "about Jack's age" but never mention how old Jack is. Just a thought. ^_^

nonononononononono... *politely disagrees with polkadots* Don't change the end, the gloomy suddenness is what gives it all it's twang. although i do agree with polkadots about the mothers' reaction in

The reason why this came so naturally to me was because every last Wednesday in August, there is a festival in Bunol where people run around half-naked throwing millions of ...

*hums* I don't like your revisions. It shouldn't be half-naked, it should still be naked. And after "IT'S NOT TOMAHTO," you don't need the parenthesis bit. This is satire, the ...

Thanks Amelia. the thingaling cut off the end of the chapter *shrugs* it actually goes on for a couple more pages. ^_^ Thanks for rambling over!

Hey Azila--first off, you are practically my favorite. You're a little prodigy in the making. And also a genius critiquer. Thank you for your suggestions--you are very good at pointing ...

XD how bout feigning sleep for a title?

Pretty-words-strung-together. I don't love it like I used to love your stuff. The smarter you get, the harder it is for me to connect to your work. It's poetic, but ...

Gadi--that wasn't supposed to be the end of the chapter, the thingy cut it off. The end is much better, I promise, and thank you. I'll try to fix the ...