-
Re: Chapter 1
Hey, jakeblewitt98! First of all, great piece. You've got some great emotional parts to this story, but maybe I connect a bit because I'm a military brat. I know what ...
Oct 25, 2014 -
Re: (Untitled Book)
Hiyas, Venin! I like this piece and can't wait to read more about the story. There were a few things I pointed out that could be fixed or changed to ...
Nov 9, 2012 -
Re: acceber: the magic starts it all
Hi! Welcome to the wonderful world of the Young Writers Society! I hope you are enjoying your time on the site so far. :) I haven't been on in quite ...
Oct 12, 2011 -
Re: Kurt
First of all, wow. This was great. I haven't been on YWS in quite some time with the goal of critiquing, but I am really glad that yours was one ...
Jul 16, 2011 -
Re: The flowers of dispair
First of all, this made me tear up at the end. Secondly, I really enjoyed this. A few spots here and there could use a bit of tweaking, just as ...
Sep 3, 2010 -
Re: F.R.E.D
I really just adore this poem, Aqua. It fully captures the being that is F.R.E.D. ;) Anyway, there's nothing really to critique other than it's awesomeness. Thanks for sharing! :) ...
Sep 3, 2010 -
Re: Dawn & Dusk Ch. 2
First of all, thanks for telling me this was out! :) Secondly, this really gives me the chills. However, I'm not without my nitpicks. ;) I wasn't really paying attention. ...
Jun 8, 2010 -
Re: Dawn & Dusk Final Chapter!!!
This was just captivating. :) I heard something shatter, and it took me a while to comprehend that it wasn't my heart, but a window. This made me shiver. I ...
Jun 8, 2010 -
Re: Dawn & Dusk Ch. 1
Eyes, this was wonderful! I totally enjoyed this and I'm super curious as to what happens next. However, I do have a few nitpicks. ;) I collapse onto the ground ...
Jun 2, 2010 -
Re: Monday Morning
Hiyas, Felix! :) I have to say, I quite enjoyed this. It was interesting and I'm eager to see more of how the story is going to play out. There ...
Jan 18, 2010 -
Re: The Failings
Hiyas! :) First of all, I really loved this piece. It has a great meaning, a wonderful insight at the flaws of the narrator. The final great defect in me, ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: PEZ
Now listen girls and boys... Pfefferminz I don't know how to pronounce you These three lines are a bit confusing because of the first sentence. You tell the "girls and ...
Jan 7, 2010 -
Re: Inseparable
I don't critique poetry that often, but I hope this is helpful. ;) I really loved this poem. It made me think of my graduation this year and the fun ...
Jan 7, 2010 -
Re: The Marionette by the snow
Fox, this was a wonderful piece. :) I enjoyed reading it very much. But, on to the review. ;) My changes will be in bold, unless otherwise noted. It was ...
Dec 26, 2009 -
Re: WIshing for Angel
Hey, Fox! I'm here as requested. :) Let me go ahead and get started. Nitpicks: We listened to the rustle of the leaves above us and the waves by our ...
Dec 22, 2009
