MiRaCLeS

Hello! I found that I rather liked this poem. It's simple and easy to read. It also sounded rather cheeky. I also laughed when reading it. :) In your poem, ...

Hello! So, rather cute story, even though Lucy was quite mean and not-so-cute in the story. But, I think that the story is cute because you captured the innocence of ...

Hello! So, with the poem, I think the whole metaphor is really good and different, because quite often, poems about these topics are written out plainly without metaphors or anything. ...

Hi! So, I quite like this poem. I liked the juxtaposition between the waves and the emotions behind it. I also liked the fact that you chose the ocean, because ...

Hi! So, I liked the first stanza, I liked the way how you personified the emotion Melancholy. It makes seemed more real and 3D. With the second stanza, I think ...

Hello! So, I noticed some grammatical errors you repeated a bit throughout the story. One of them: t's 6:30 am. "Shoot!" Mel exclaimed. You're not starting dialogues in a new ...

Hi! So, with the dialogue, I feel as though they're over exaggerated which made them rather difficult to read. I know you're trying to set the scene and everything, but ...

Hi! So, as I was reading through I saw a lot of grammatical errors which made it a bit confusing for me to read. I'll focus on this particular section: ...

Hello! I have to agree with what JabberHut was saying: you use a bit too much description. Readers need some description, but not too much as too much description turns ...

Hi there! I'm not a big fan of the paragraphing you've got there. I think that you can separate it into stanzas and lines to make it look more like ...

Hi! This is a sweet, simple story that you've written. If anything, I think it's a bit too simple. The complication wasn't all that big and the characters ended up ...

Hello, First of all, I don't think that you have written the story to it's full potential. A plunging plane, for example is probably a whole lot more scarier than ...

Hello! So, I noticed that you labelled the part where the flashback was about to happen. That's a bit like saying: Caution! Awesome paragraph right below. You don't do that, ...

Hi JackpotJohnson, As the previous reviewer have mentioned starting on a new line everytime someone new speaks, I won't go say anymore about that, except that you pay attention to ...

Hi! I have to say, this is a really, really sweet story. The emotions in it is so raw, which makes us, readers, feel for the character. I also liked ...