Messenger

The Messenger here to review for the Knights of the Green Room. What I'm going to do on this review is post problems as I see them, and then put ...

Ah! just got to say that before I even began reading the first paragraph, I love how you start out the chapter with Initializing . . . That makes it ...

the Craig slowly pivots to keep his eyes on the machine and steps That sounds hilarious to me, although i know it is only a typo. At the point where ...

OKOKOKOKOK. sorry, but this is so dumb. I got one paragraph and was finished. whether this story is supposed to poorly written (That;s an understatement) when you write it this ...

Hey, here to review for the Knights of the Green Room. This chapter was pretty good. I haven't read previous chapters (something I don' usually do) but I easily understood ...

Here for the knights of the Green Room. Wow, that is so imaginative and vividly descriptive, with interesting metaphors. I especially like the last stanza. The part with the fireflies ...

Alright, those small details you added really do help with the story. i noticed a problem at the beginning though. “Piper!” A voice whispers from across the hall. I scowl ...

This was an awesome poem. Every line fits perfectly. I like the blank lines, then I am someone who doodles, so that is something I relate to as well. My ...

This is a really good beginning, but I have a few suggestions. Use a little more time to describe the girls coming to their father. Show a little more him ...

Hahahahahaha. This so funny Rydia. I love the quick rhyming and fast-paced stanzas. The first three lines are so random and funny. Thy instantly brought a smile to my face. ...

but the children had worn a path over the crest of the hill, where the grass was now pressed down to make traveling easier. The first part of this sentence ...

This was a cool idea, and i liked how you wrote it out. However, I do agree with Twin Seed, that you should put three dots at the end. It ...

Thus poem was really coo. I liked its rhythm, except for the this stanza. It's when I taught you To dance, And when you learned to Cry. To me it ...

Here to review. You have a couple times where you put a comma instead of a period. Here for example are a few: “A year, Thren,” her father promised, taking ...

This poem is really nice. It has sadness and happiness and hope all in one. Yet every morning, The Sun comes back, Forgiving and healing, Piercing through the fears and ...