Merlin34

All in all, I wasn't too impressed with this piece. It reads like it could be powerful and compelling, but as it stands now, it's just awkward. It moves too ...

This piece has potential. You've got a good setup (survivors huddling in the ruins of their fortress, planning a last desperate assault against impossible odds), and the first line is ...

Hello EloquentDragon. Thought I'd review this. So I did. Ha. I must say that I liked it. Quite a lot. You've set a good mood, and conveyed a sense of ...

I liked this. The beginning seemed a bit awkward, and there were a couple grammatical errors here and there, but then it really took off. There were a lot of ...

To be frank, this piece has some serious problems. While reading, my internal cliche detector was going haywire. You seemed to just have the standard cliche fantasy world at first, ...

I like animal stories, especially about North American mammals like what you seem to have here. However, the story itself needs work. First off, it's unclear what some of these ...

This was a decent story, but lacking in some areas and sometimes confusing. When you say "pool of tears", what exactly do you mean? An actual pool filled with nothing ...

This story was decent. It seemed fairly original, though there were some cliche names and phrases. The prose is quick and tight, not cluttered with the overly-flowery prose that so ...

You did a good job for the most part. The main issues were with the prose. It seemed choppy in places. Here's an example. It increases. With it increases my ...

I liked this. It vas (joke intended) very interesting. Dream sequences are cliche, but yours works well. One thing you could try is to make the dream more surreal. It ...

This was interesting. It's nice to see a vampire story that actually involves KILLING THEM, and not falling for them. Now, onto the meat of the review. The grammar didn't ...

The grammar on this piece suffers a bit, but I know you normally do a good job with it, so I won't go too crazy. Sorry if my review gets ...

I won't beat a dead horse here and talk about the grammar. Instead, I'll look at two other issues: dialogue and character. So far, I haven't really learned much about ...

You are as a good a writer as you are a review. And as you can pick out every flaw in a person's work (which is why I like you), ...

This was hilarious! So completely random and awesome! I especially liked the "mochatov cocktail" and "STD ray". Where do you come up with this stuff? It's crazy. And epic. But ...