Aaron slid through the calm sea, his motions as fluid as the water around him. He always felt at home in the sea.
When he was little he thought of himself as an otter. Now he knew he was different. Still, he referred to them as his "family." In turn the otters called him their brother.
A fish interrupted his thoughts. Without thinking he shot out a paw. It evaded him. He twisted like a snake and caught it with a back paw. Then he passed it up to his front paws.
He surfaced with a rush. "Well caught, brother!" Talan hailed him.
"Aye! If you took the trouble and paid attention, you could do that!"
"So I'm not a champion fisher." Talan shrugged good-naturedly. "At least I don't have to steer with that thing you call a tail!"
"My tail is useful in its own way," Aaron insisted. "By the way, have a fish."
Talan, bewildered, found the fish in his paw. Aaron winked at him. "See what I mean?"
Before the thunderstruck otter could reply, a call from the cave reached them. "Aaron, this is the third time..."
"Coming, Mother!" He rolled his eyes at Talan. "I don't know how she does that."
Sharn, the young ferret's mother, stood tapping impatiently. "Look at yourself! I suppose you forgot about the festival tonight."
"The Festival of the Moon, of course!" Aaron struck his brow. "It completely escaped me."
She watched him dash off, muttering, "It 'escaped' him? What a son I have!"
**
Aurora, the white otter, was finishing her preparations. She dressed in a blue linen skirt, wound a red silk ribbon into her tail, and placed a thin gold ring on her paw.
“Now, let’s see- where did I put my gift?”
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,816 Reviews
As was mentioned previously the story was a bit lacking. I didn't personally think there was enough in here for it to be classified as a whole chapter, perhaps write some more and add to it. I like your writing style though and keep up the good work (: I would appreciate it if you could perhaps send me a message when you write more?
Hi Stori
I like this. The animals are the sort of animals that people go 'aw' at so the story is very cute, (I hoped that made sense).
I haven't got any nit-picks as its only short and I can't see anything wrong with it.
Can you pm me when you post more?
midnightread
I like animal stories, especially about North American mammals like what you seem to have here. However, the story itself needs work. First off, it's unclear what some of these animals are. So far, you've mentioned ferrets (which, by the way, are not wild animals. More on this later), sea otters, and I'm assuming that Aaron is a beaver. Might be wrong though.
These animals would not exist in the same place, unless this world is decidedly not Earth. If it is, a good place where these animals could mingle would be Northern Minnesota and Southern Canada. There you have river otters, pine martens and fishers (which are a lot like ferrets), and beavers. It's a good idea to research the ranges of all the animals if you're setting your story on Earth. On the topic of ferrets, the only wild species of ferret is the Black-footed ferret of the Great Plains. However, they are extremely rare and wouldn't live near the sea.
As for the story, it seems very lacking. The first chapter, the chapter that is supposed to hook readers, is little more than a bit of dialogue, and what appears to be banter. Maybe have Aaron and Talan returning from a fishing trip and running into a predator.
Dang, these are some intelligent woodland creatures. They've somehow managed to produce silk and linen (along with dyes), and have also developed mining, metallurgy, and opposable thumbs..
On a final note, good luck, have fun with it, and try to keep this away from Redwall-clone-land.