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Re: Behind the Blue Moon - Chapter 1: My Teacher Forced Me To Join A Club - Part 1
This was a fun read! I don't know a ton about Japanese culture, but my weeb brother and my love of ghibli did help me understand this. Overall the story ...
Jul 28, 2020 -
Re: The Harvest - Chapter 3
Hey! back to review your chapter. Once again, it's a little rushed, and it really builds tension. But to specifics He’s being attacked, backed into a corner by 2 of ...
Jul 22, 2020 -
Re: The Tale of Souls - Prologue and Chapter One
Hey! Andrew here with your review. Overall this is very well written, the characters are believable and it has a very classic magical fantasy feeling. I am excited to see ...
Jul 21, 2020 -
Re: The Harvest - Chapter 2
Okay, this is interesting, the power and cell outage is a quick and easy way to establish stakes, and make the story feel much smaller. The cell phone problem of ...
Jul 17, 2020 -
Re: The Harvest - Chapter I
Hey, Andrew back again to a review of your chapter. After the prologue, this is an interesting change of pace, feels very eerie since we know how bad it can ...
Jul 15, 2020 -
Re: The Harvest - Prologue
Hey, I'm here to review your work. First, an interesting and creepy idea, and a mysterious start to a story. There are a couple things you could improve, but overall ...
Jul 13, 2020 -
Re: ...
Okay! I really liked that, it was very poetic, strong, and had a lot of good imagery and metaphors. The idea was strong and the turn in the middle on ...
Jul 11, 2020 -
Re: A trip to the future
This is interesting, I think I would always have liked to see young tom riddle, and this does a very good job at that. A couple points you could improve ...
Jul 10, 2020 -
Re: Jack Hinson's One Man War
Hey, Andrew reporting to review your piece. I don’t normally review poetry, but I felt like it today, but still, I’m no poetry expert, so take everything I say with ...
Jul 10, 2020 -
Re: Real
Hey, Andrew here reporting for duty to review your work. This was really well written, and I enjoyed the couples dynamic, definitely loving and realistic, but not to lovey Dovey ...
Jul 9, 2020 -
Re: Hexagon
Hey! This sounds like an interesting start! There are defiantly some solid lines and ideas, such as "Her smooth and light voice shakes me from my prison, I turn and ...
Jul 8, 2020 -
Re: Story I - Death's Sorrow Over Eternity
This is excellent; the narrator of death is instantly likable. This story feels silly but still captures the fear and pain of an apocalypse. I am a little confused about ...
Jun 19, 2020 -
Re: Longing
First off, very strong. I started reading this with a sweet smile and ended it with wet eyes. You make us feel the mother daughter dynamic early on, and the ...
Jun 16, 2020 -
Re: It Can Be Both
I like it. The idea about doing one good things is strong, and the dialogue is believable. I only have one critique and it is as follows: Normally in a ...
May 19, 2020 -
Re: Chapter 1 : The girl from the library
It's a good start! There is a large vocabulary, the main character is interesting and I am curious about the world and the plot. There are a couple things that ...
May 19, 2020
