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Re: She's Cinderella and She's Pissed About It. (Ch. 1)
First Paragraph Loved it. It was humorous, but also dark, showing what kind of story this was going to be. I was immediately hooked in. Style & Flow The style ...
Mar 16, 2025 -
Re: The Potato Stories: Chapters 1 and 2
First Paragraph You nailed it with the first paragraph, showing what the story is about, what kind of story it is and making the reader want to know more. I ...
Mar 16, 2025 -
Re: The Documentation for the Propagation of the Mind
First Paragraph Amazing. I was immediately hooked in by the style in which it was written, and I could understand at just a glance that this was going to be ...
Mar 13, 2025 -
Re: Dates with A Banshee
The first paragraph was an amazing hook, immediately making me want to read more of the story. I like the voice with which and how smooth the story was written. ...
Mar 5, 2025 -
Re: My Dad's Funeral
This is a really amazing story! The first paragraph immediately hooked me in: even without reading the rest of the story, I could tell that the protagonist was at a ...
Mar 5, 2025 -
Re: Deep Space Chapter 3: Crossing the Threshold
Although I haven't read the preceding chapter, I could immediately tell from the first paragraph alone what kind of story this is. I love the voice with which it is ...
Mar 4, 2025 -
Re: In the Wake of Everything
The first paragraph was good, showing how Sera wishes to be perfect for, but also feels nervous about the upcoming concert. I do have a tip for it, though: turn ...
Mar 4, 2025 -
Re: The Boy Made of Reverie
This work is beautiful. It is written in a way that makes clear to the reader that this is a romantic story even without looking at the tags. The descriptions ...
Mar 4, 2025
