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MaskMother

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Humor Re: She's Cinderella and She's Pissed About It. (Ch. 1)

    First Paragraph Loved it. It was humorous, but also dark, showing what kind of story this was going to be. I was immediately hooked in. Style & Flow The style ...

    Mar 16, 2025
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Humor Re: The Potato Stories: Chapters 1 and 2

    First Paragraph You nailed it with the first paragraph, showing what the story is about, what kind of story it is and making the reader want to know more. I ...

    Mar 16, 2025
  • Article / Essay » Science Fiction, Horror Re: The Documentation for the Propagation of the Mind

    First Paragraph Amazing. I was immediately hooked in by the style in which it was written, and I could understand at just a glance that this was going to be ...

    Mar 13, 2025
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Horror Re: Dates with A Banshee

    The first paragraph was an amazing hook, immediately making me want to read more of the story. I like the voice with which and how smooth the story was written. ...

    Mar 5, 2025
  • Short Story » Narrative, General Re: My Dad's Funeral

    This is a really amazing story! The first paragraph immediately hooked me in: even without reading the rest of the story, I could tell that the protagonist was at a ...

    Mar 5, 2025
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Deep Space Chapter 3: Crossing the Threshold

    Although I haven't read the preceding chapter, I could immediately tell from the first paragraph alone what kind of story this is. I love the voice with which it is ...

    Mar 4, 2025
  • Novel / Chapter » Other, General Re: In the Wake of Everything

    The first paragraph was good, showing how Sera wishes to be perfect for, but also feels nervous about the upcoming concert. I do have a tip for it, though: turn ...

    Mar 4, 2025
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: The Boy Made of Reverie

    This work is beautiful. It is written in a way that makes clear to the reader that this is a romantic story even without looking at the tags. The descriptions ...

    Mar 4, 2025


So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install a lovely bookcase on the wall.
— Roald Dahl