I started out as nothing but a tiny seed. Well, technically, it’s called a seed potato, but who cares? Not me.
All I care about is being the Potato Master. What can I say? I have big dreams. Sometimes too big.
But I’m going to start from the beginning. Not the middle, not the end. The beginning.
To truly start from the beginning, we have to go back. Waaay back, before I was even a tiny spud. And also, I hate that word. Spud. Who the heck wants to be called a spud?
Anyways, as I was saying, I started out as a tiny seed. A seed potato. It’s not easy being a seed potato.
Let me explain. When my parents planted me in the Potato Hospital, I was suddenly put into a whole different world. I won’t go into the... details of how we potatoes get planted, but let me tell you, it’s not a pleasant experience.
At least not for the plantee.
Wait.
Anyways, when I was planted in the Hospital, I had to fight off all types of little critters and insects in my Growth Pod. I think that’s where my love for the Potato Arts started.
I remember this one time, a few hours after I had been planted, this nasty thing came up to me and started trying to nibble off my arms.
It had two little eyes and six or so legs, but it wasn’t so bad. It was really tiny, and I fought it off pretty easily.
Well, it ran away right after that, and I thought that was the end. I was so, so wrong.
A few minutes later, or something like that (it’s really hard to keep track of time under the dirt), it was back, but this time it wasn’t just one of them, it was a literal hundred!
They all started crawling on me and trying to chew my limbs off, so I fought back. It was no hope, there were just too many of them. I started to give up.
Suddenly, Fred showed up. Wait, I don’t think I’ve introduced Fred to you yet. Well, he’s basically my best friend. The thing with Fred is that he and I don’t really match.
I like squashing critters, he likes talking to them.
I like writing, he likes drawing.
Mainly, though, his dream isn’t to be the Potato Master. It’s to be in a potato salad. Like come on! Lame.
But overall, he’s a pretty cool dude. I just like to tease him sometimes.
Anyways, back to the story, I was about to get eaten by these bugs, but then Fred came over into my Growth Pod.
I don’t really remember the conversation that ensued, but it was probably something like this:
Me: “Help!! Get these things off of me!!!”
Fred: “Aww, look at these little cutie pies.”
Me (literally getting my limbs chewed off): “AAAAAAAAAAAA”
Fred (in baby voice, while petting one’s head): “Who’s a good critter? You are! Yes you are!!”
Well, he eventually helped me out, or I wouldn’t be here. And I am thankful for that.
...But come on, Fred!
Anyways, after we both got out of our Growth Pods, we became instant best friends.
Contrary to popular belief, potatoes are smart. We have colleges and academies, just like those show off carrots (man, I hate them so much, them and their stupid fancy suits and briefcases.)
Well, the first thing a spud (arghh) does once they finish growing is they go to the Academy to figure out their skills.
Basically, there are three main skills:
1. Leadership
2. Battle
3. Defense
(There’s also some more trivial ones like Translator and Housekeeping, but those are lame)
To be a Potato Master, you have to learn all three and beat the current Potato Master in a fight.
You also have to go on this thing called the Savior Quest, which proves that you’re worthy if you finish it.
Right now, I’ve only finished the Art of Defense, and I still have two to go.
The thing is, my Battle test is going to be really soon, as in today, and after that, I’ll have to do my Quest, and I’m kind of really nervous.
Fred has been really helpful lately, even if he can be a little annoying sometimes.
I think he knows how stressed I am. I’m not sure. Not that it really matters.
Oh yeah, and Fred’s skill is Art. Not as in the Potato Arts, but as in art. Like drawing. He says he’s going to be the next Da Potato. Whatever that means.
Leonardo da Potato was an artist, engineer, and scientist, in the Potato Art Age. He is best known for his paintings Mona Lisa and The Last Supper, and he’s my personal inspiration!
Very sweet, Fred. Also, don’t touch my notebook again!
Haahhahahah
Get out of here! Scram!
...Yeah. That’s Fred.
Wait a minute I think he’s calling me. Oh shoot I think I’m late to the Academy. I think that’s enough writing for today, anyways. I’ll tell you how my test goes later.
Bye!
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140,258 Literary Works • 673,075 Reviews
First Paragraph
You nailed it with the first paragraph, showing what the story is about, what kind of story it is and making the reader want to know more. I immediately knew that this was a humorous story written in first person about potatoes, and what kind of personality the narrator has.
Style & Flow
The style was amazing. It conveyed character and was, above all, hilarious. I don't know what made me laugh more: the first meeting between our narrator and Fred or Fred stealing the narrator's notebook.
The flow was smooth and easy to read.
Grammar
I found a few parts of which I felt like they could use some corrections.
Like 'And also, I hate that word' in the first paragraph. I believe it would read smoother if you replaced 'And also' with 'By the way'.
In 'I remember this one time ... nibble off my arms.' I think it would be even better if you put 'that' before 'this one thing'.
I suggest that you delete 'they' in 'they go to the Academy' in the second paragraph of Chapter 2 because you already used 'they' a few words before that, and even without the 'they' I suggested to be deleted, it would be clear who the sentence meant.
In the paragraph right above the 'Leonardo da Potato ... personal inspiration!' paragraph, I think you should delete 'and'. I just believe it reads smoother that way.
In the paragraph right below the 'Leonardo da Potato ... personal inspiration!' paragraph, I believe it would be even better if you either delete 'Also' or replace it with 'By the way'.
The paragraph right above 'Bye!' is amazing. It misses some comma's, but that just makes it even better, since it shows that the narrator is in a hurry.
Overall, I found this work extremely funny and full of character! Looking forward to the next chapters!
-Mask
A very light and humorous story.
"They all started crawling on me and trying to chew my limbs off, so I fought back. It was no hope, there were just too many of them. I started to give up."
This had me laughing, the seed potato was so brave to scare away one of those, but how would he face so many. Luckily, his bestfriend Fred stepped in, or else...no no no (nothing would happen to the young potato master).
Thank you so much for writing such a (inspirational) good story, this story made my day happy.
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.
Aww thanks I%u2019m glad you liked it and it made your day better <3