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MarySue

  • Short Story » Romantic, Dramatic Re: 9 December 2011

    " On one side of the table was a chair, delicately carved with ornate patterning and a soft red leather cushion on the seat. On the other side was the ...

    Nov 23, 2013
  • Lyrics » Lyrical, Spiritual Re: It's Time to Celebrate

    Quite good, and just in time for the holidays as well! The only thing is, this feels more like just a summary of what he's done, perhaps you could put ...

    Nov 23, 2013
  • Short Story » Horror, Narrative Re: Short gothic story "The Path" - Draft

    Your descriptions quite good, however I feel like the reader doesn't get to listen in to what the protagonist is thinking often enough. It feels almost a bit mechanical. I ...

    Nov 23, 2013
  • Poetry » Horror, Romantic Re: When My Smart Brain Decides to Forsake Me

    This was a really cute poem! I really liked it! You rhymed everything very well for the most part, the only thing I can think of that sounded only a ...

    Nov 23, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Fantasy Re: The Last Days Chapter One Part 3: Decision

    Though your sentence structure is good, and there aren't any grammatical or spelling errors, the sentences seem a wee bit choppy, so I'd recommend making a few longer ones. That's ...

    Nov 23, 2013
  • Poetry » Lyrical, Dramatic Re: Semper Fi

    This is gorgeously written. With no spelling or grammar errors (that I can notice), and vivid imagery that is appealing to the senses. The only thing I can find to ...

    Nov 23, 2013


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