Mars

Hey gsp! So, a couple of technicalities to clear up first of all: Dialogue Grammar! “Excellent chase my brother.” Morcant said with another laugh. This is incorrect dialogue punctuation; because ...

Hey Tuna! Sorry this took so long. Anyway, just remember that all these are my suggestions - and since English isn't your first language (you do write in it very ...

Hi Ofir :) Firstly, I think this should be rated PG 13 because of the swearing. :) the last rays of sun coloring everything in warm colors Beautiful imagery but ...

Du-ude! You're Scottish? I've only met one other Scotlander on this site so you are automatically totally awesome. Welcome! I'd like to quickly mention also before the review that there's ...

*snuggleattacks!* and she tried to coax herself like Miss sometimes had done to her; She’s your best friend, So! A couple of issues with this. First of all, 'coax'? I ...

Eek! Sorry this took so long - sometimes I forget to check my thread :P Okay. So. I absolutely love the first part, the actual letter, I think it's beautiful. ...

Hey! Sorry this took me so long. I do have kind of a busy week ahead, I will get to your chapters, but it might take me a couple days. ...

Hi! Welcome to YWS! There was, not too long ago there was a large Jewish population I've seen grown men, it is worth mentioning I'd cut this, it clutters up ...

Zomg a sonnet, I absolutely love sonnets! Here goes my two cents: I love all of the first stanza except the second line; it needs more syllables, as it is ...

Hi! Therefore, he must focus on the present This jumped out at me because it's in present tense, instead of past tense like the rest of the story. Should be ...

Hey Rachel :) I very much liked this; at first I was sort of thinking, "uh, where is this going?" but it was well-written and the ending was great. I ...

Hello! It was late when we got back.[/b] Got back where? He would never rest his head on my shoulder if he was tired- too embarrassing, so I knew I ...

asdfjkl;! I clicked on this fully intending to give a helpful critique, but it seems I cannot. So I'll just tell you what I loved about it. With a couple ...

Hey! Wow - I really like this, but you have a lot of grammar mistakes. Let's go through those first, shall we? I also may reword some things to make ...

Hey Phantom! Welcome to YWS! This story centers on the source of that rare din of angry voices, a small house at the end of the street. The illusion of ...