Hehehe this is wonderful! I loved it when Andy punched Peter! Oh, and I love the sudden interest in Red...This definately has me hooked! can't wait for the next chapter!
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Thank you for the latest comments- I don't feel that confident about this chapter, and it's still the first draft, so please please please, help me out! Thanks.
chapter three
The sun was a cool, pearly color when I opened my eyes. It was too bright- I had to close them again, yet at the same time, it was peaceful. Such a contrast to the concert last night.
The sound of traffic wasn’t as loud as ever; it must be early, I understood. It was such a shame that I wouldn’t be able to do this for long. That I couldn’t be with Peter like this forever. He lay on his side of the bed, his mouth slightly open, his golden hair a mess over his face. But I still had a year, I tried to console myself. One year before college.
Peter and I already finished high school- I was allowed one year before going off to college to study. One year to spend every possible moment with Peter. Tour or no tour, next year it wouldn’t be like this. It was such a frightening thought, that this could actually end. Of course, long distant relationships had worked before, so this isn’t the end. Not exactly. And I knew I’d like college.
“What are you thinking about?” Peter asked, voice scratchy, yawning widely.
“College,” I answered, jumping off the bed.
Peter rubbed his eyes. “College is…” yawn “good.” He was clearly too tired to pay attention.
I smiled. “Sure it is.” I agreed.
“… I don’t care that you don’t have a car, you get them over there in less than an hour or you’re facing a lawsuit!” Clarissa’s shrill yells made both Peter and me jump. The door slammed open, and Clarissa’s small figure walked toward us with threatening steps.
“You are being interviewed today, by no other than the most successful journalist in this part of America.” She stated, clearly pleased with herself. To my surprise, her gaze rested on me.
“Red?” I asked, blinking in confusion. Red was a journalist. And he said he wanted to interview me… the sudden nausea I felt was hard to control.
“I don’t care if you object.” Clarissa added as she read my expression.
I sat down on the bed again, stumbling backward and falling on Peter.
His voice was furious. “Violet doesn’t like attention, so this is really off limits-“
Clarissa didn’t let him finish. “It’ll get you great publicity. More success.”
I swallowed hard.
Peter didn’t seem convinced. “I’m not going to do that to Violet, Clarissa.”
“Is it really going to help?” I asked in a mild voice.
Peter got off the bed, shaking his head in disbelief.
Clarissa looked victorious- the edges of her mouth pulled up into a smile and she nodded, eyes gleaming.
“Can Peter come too?” I took a big breath. Clarissa’s eyes flashed again, even brighter this time.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Her voice was an octave higher in excitement.
Peter leaned over and hugged me. “Thanks,” he murmured.
I wrapped my arms around him. “Of course,” I murmured back.
Clarissa stomped out of the room, clearly annoyed by the scene. “Peter, come see me once you’re done making out with your girlfriend,” she threw behind her back, disgust clear in her voice.
Peter kissed the top of my head. “Get ready, princess. I’ll be right back.” He left the room after Clarissa.
I sighed. More attention- exactly what I needed.
During the ride, Peter was quiet, his lips pursed tight, and his face pale. I checked his forehead for a fever. “what’s wrong?” I had to ask, my voice low so the driver wouldn’t hear.
“nothing,” he shook his head a little, avoiding my gaze.
I was starting to get annoyed. The wardrobe department had taken it a little too far this time. I was wearing a dull baby blue top- very nice, according to my standards, but that was the furthest I could convince them. I was wearing a mini skirt and a pair of elegant flip flops. A mini skirt! It was a total shock. I hated those things- it was already bad enough that I didn’t have a normal center of balance, that I tripped every few steps, now I had to do that with a skirt? Either way, Peter didn’t comment as I stepped into the van. Not one word. I wondered what Clarissa had told him to make him like this.
The car stopped, and we got out. Him- quietly, with the distant look still in his eyes, me- with a lot of noise, almost falling onto the hard cement.
The building we walked in was elegant and big. The walls were a creamy white, making it look calm, and the furniture was made of shiny metal. The receptionist lead us to a room with three chairs, one small table, and at least three cameras. Red was already there. His face lit up when he saw us. “Welcome,” he said cheerfully. “I’m really glad to have you over,” it sounded like he really meant it.
I assessed him with my eyes; he was beautiful. He had short brown hair, and happy, mischief green eyes. He was tall- taller than Peter. I could see why Peter didn’t like me talking to him.
“We start in five,” he instructed as we settled down in the chairs.
Peter took a big breath and exhaled. He looked like he was in pain.
The cameras started humming and a big smile spread across Red’s face, “you’ve heard of them, you’ve watched all the news about them intently, and now, they’re here in the flesh!” His voice sounded wrong for him.
I stared at the creamy floor, colored the same color as the walls. This wasn’t right. I felt myself blush, cursing the moment I agreed to do this.
“Violet,” Peter’s voice interrupted my thoughts, and cut off Red in mid sentence. I looked up, wondering. His eyes met mine, and he looked like he was in pain again. “I want to break up.”
I heard Red gasp beside me, and heard the mechanic zoom as the cameras zoomed closer to my face. My mind couldn’t accept that information.
“Break up?” I asked, making sure this wasn’t all a hallucination or something.
Peter nodded.
I started shaking, everything turning blurry because of the tears that covered my eyes. “Why?” I was able to stutter out, forgetting we were on national television, that every single person would be able to watch this. Forgetting everything other then that one sentence.
Peter didn’t answer.
The need to run away was stronger than anything else. I leaped off the chair, sending it crashing down behind me, and started running. Red caught up with me fifteen minutes later. I was leaning against the corridor wall, a few hallways away, the tears falling, crashing down, my own personal proof that this wasn’t a dream. He handed me a phone without talking. “Thanks,” I mumbled before dialing.
Andy picked up on the third ring. “Andy, come pick me up please,” I mumbled into the phone, my voice blurry and shaky.
“What’s wrong?” Andy’s reaction was immediate. “Tell me what happened.” He demanded.
“he broke up with me…” I sounded dazed, even to myself. A
ndy cursed on the other side of the phone. “just wait there, I’m coming.” I tried to wipe off the tears, but new ones kept replacing them. Ultimately, I gave up.
“He’s an idiot,” Red said. I looked up at him in surprise- I forgot that he was there. I nodded a little. Yes, I thought to myself, he is an idiot.
Red’s expression was moving between indecision, sympathy, and fury. The thick curtain of tears was reduced enough so I could see his expression turning weary. “I give up,” he said with a sigh. Give up? He was making no sense. I’m the one who was going to give up. I still couldn’t accept the fact that Peter… and I … this started me crying again, sobbing noisily this time.
“It’s… really… over, isn’t it?” my voice sounded hysteric. But Red didn’t have time to answer, because Andy already shoved him out of the way.
“Violet,” he breathed, his arms wrapping around me. I leaned into his chest, the sobs growing stronger. A familiar face, finally.
I heard footsteps behind him, and Clarissa’s sharp voice cut through my sobs. “Let’s go, Peter.” I couldn’t breathe. I tried to, but the air wouldn’t reach my lungs. Red was the first one to notice my distress.
“She’s choking!” he was almost as hysteric as me.
“Oh please,” Clarissa said sharply, turning away. I tried to calm myself down enough to breathe again. Andy counted until ten for me, meaning to calm me down. It worked. “Thanks,” I gasped.
He let me go, returning me to Red’s waiting hands. I followed him with an anxious gaze. “Peter!” he called loudly.
Red was holding me loosely, embarrassed. It felt nice. I tried to focus on that instead of Andy and Peter’s dialogue. But it was hard to ignore it when they were screaming. Well, actually, only Andy screamed.
“You are the stupidest, most ignorant, most idiotic moron in this world!”
Peter responded in something too low for me to hear, and then Andy screamed again.
“the hell you don’t” and it sounded like something hit the floor.
I jumped from Red’s hold, alert.
Peter was on the floor, blood dripping from his lower lip. It colored his teeth a sick color of pink.
I gasped.
His eyes were wild, they stared at Andy with hate, then at me, softer.
I started crying again, hysteric. This was just too much. This couldn't be happening. “Just get me out of here!” I moaned to no one in particular, but Red decided the desperate call was addressed to him. He grabbed the wrist of my hand, dragging me across the hall, away from the commotion.
“Do you have any valuables back in the hotel?” he asked shortly.
Still not making any sense.
I shook my head once.
“you were planning on going to college, right?” he checked. I nodded this time. “Good,” he sounded confident. “Then that’s where we’re going. Call your parents once we’re there, ask them to send cloths.”
The blood drained from my face.
“Don’t worry,” Red reassured me. “I got this covered.” And somehow, I believed him.
Hehehe this is wonderful! I loved it when Andy punched Peter! Oh, and I love the sudden interest in Red...This definately has me hooked! can't wait for the next chapter!
Hey! Sorry this took me so long. I do have kind of a busy week ahead, I will get to your chapters, but it might take me a couple days.
The first thing you need to do is memorize the dialogue grammar rules. Please, please, please do this. There were a ton of mistakes in this chapter, and there were a ton of mistakes in your last chapter too, and I linked you to the same article. I know this is a rough draft, but grammar should be cleared up before posting so that reviewers can concentrate on plot and characters and good stuff, m'kay?
The same goes for stupid typos, like this one:
I sounded dazed, even to myself. A
ndy cursed on the other side of the phone.
Peter and I already finished high school- I was allowed one year before going off to college to study.
“You are the stupidest, most ignorant, most idiotic moron in this world!”
“you were planning on going to college, right?” he checked. I nodded this time. “Good,” he sounded confident. “Then that’s where we’re going. Call your parents once we’re there, ask them to send cloths.”
This is great. The fact that Peter actually broke up & upset Violet shows he's human and you've showed he's not perfect which is fantastic.
I think it's good that you show Violet's very clumsy & I think that really shows her character, well done.
I can't wait to out what made Peter do what he did. Great job.
Hi. I haven't read the previous chapters, so forgive me if anything I say wouldn't apply had I read from the beggining.
First of all, it was good how you gave the main character flaws. The part about the abnormal centre of balance was funny (In a good way).
Peter didn’t seem convinced. “I’m not going to do that to Violet, [s]Clarissa[/s].”
“Get ready, princess. I’ll be right back.”
me- with a lot of noise, almost falling onto the hard cement.
And somehow, I believed him.
Points: 890
Reviews: 115
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