Mars

Hellooooo. I don't know Spanish at all so I can't comment on the original at all but here are my suggestions for the English version! :) The first stanza is ...

right here and now. For you to live your life just so you can go fuck with with other Saying 'other guys again' is redundant. This reads as one of ...

I know you're not concerned (much) about the likability of Levi, but I like him quite a lot. And I can sort of tell what you mean about him being ...

I like this, and I like that I liked Morgenstern even after he punched the girl (the first time) but really didn't want to like him, and I like that ...

Hello! This is a lovely piece - you clearly have a knack for description and I liked the repetition of 'it's okay' at first although by the end it seemed ...

Hi Deathcurrent! I'm assuming this story is the beginning of a longer story, and so I can't really comment on the plot except to say that I want to read ...

Hi Persy :) I love this poem. Love love love it. Especially the last stanza and very last line, which are both very strong. The best part is that most ...

Hi Lindsay :) I like this poem a lot although I do have a couple of suggestions, which will be bolded below. There is a time in life, no comma ...

Hi Brie! The only part where the tense was off that I could find is this one: The tug on my arm is strong enough to pull me loose. \ ...

Hey Phoenix! This is a very cool piece, I love how you've taken the main character's internal conflict and made it into a monster. Very powerful imagery. The main complaint ...

Hi Becca! I really like this piece and I definitely have a sense of who you are after reading it. Since it's going to be for University admissions, it needs ...

Hi! I'll start with the first poem (logically) and then move on to the next. Do they have titles yet? Or, if the first one is called 'Oh, My Dear ...

You get my 300th review :D I think this is a lovely lovely poem, Hols, so I'm going to pick at a small relatively insignificant (but still significant) matter. While ...

Hey blackpencil. So, haikus are awesome, and technically they only have to be 5 7 5. But usually, they're about a scene in nature, and I think this is because ...

Hey Astrid! I'm Mars and I'll review your monologue but first, on YWS, one of our rules is to post 3 reviews for others before posting your own story/poem. This ...