Mandorelute

I thought some of this was well written, and some of it was unclear to me. I think you could certainly fatten this piece up. ~*~ "So things change once ...

I think this is a good composition of idea, the flow of it is clear and forceful, without smothering itself in explicitness. I liked the transition between the two halves, ...

Sara Rose, hey. I've been out of treatment for anorexia nervosa for about two years now; been through the hospitalization and relapse and hell.I lost years and years of my ...

I liked this. It captured something I have personally had to face, and I appreciated how you expressed it. We cannot love each other, although the warmth we have (remove ...

Proud of you! Hey there, I'm sorry things are so hard. PM me if you need someone to talk to. Here is an example of editing that needs to be ...

Hello there, Kylan. The name of your piece caught my eye, It had the odor of history about it; it'd be right next to Johansson, Jonasdotter...For me, it was perfect. ...

Hullo, I'm glad I came across this. Should it not be: " There are great bunches of grapes, like purple blossoms, being fed to a man of some importance" I ...

Hey there! Good first try. Everyone has to start by making a step. This actually looks similar to my own original writing. Very strait forward, but it's too simple. Why ...

Hey, it took a while, but I'm keeping the promise. Second Stanza, Third Line: "warmed by the fog, almost escaping the death" I think this should be: "warmed by the ...

Hey there, I thought the first stanza was the most powerful. It really expressed the loss of innocence to me. I think for clarifications sake, there needs to be a ...

I hate this piece as much as it is well written. It's written too well, and it's violent. The two contrasting images,both a picture of two bodies set to intercourse. ...

Hello, I have to say this piece pleased me deep inside and I'm quite glad you wrote it. I believe it's better than you can realize, yourself being the writer. ...

Hi there: Stanza Two, Line Three: "He hugs me & kisses me and tells me he loves me" Why do you use the & sign? It does not fit in ...

Hello, Very powerful ending: "We shall go on as always, You and your love, And me and my shame. " The first stanza is unclear. I believe I understood it ...

Hello, There are some very creative images tucked in the folds of this poem, such as: "...Four years later, I realized I was lonely. Baby sitters and boardgames were fun, ...