LowKey

I like it as is. Almost. I think you should take away the history of their first date, as it didn't seem important to the story. Other than that, I ...

Hey there Firearris! hmm... The beginning of this story looks familiar... ;) For future reference, please don't post the same thing twice. even if it's just the beginning. Especially if ...

Wow. I loved it. Have you ever read The Giver? Almost like something out of that. Is there going to be more? The ending is a bit abrupt, and I'm ...

Okay! Nice story idea, can't wait to find out more about what's going on. You might want to choose a tence and stick to it. He was born to protect ...

Okay! I'm going to make a prediction that may or may not be correct. Remember that one woman at the beginning of chapter one? :razz: Fingers stiff and cold with ...

:shock: You weren’t kidding when you said long! :D Okay! Great story! I loved it! Your writing was excellent and I only have a few comments. Fingers stiff and cold ...

I liked it a lot! I thought it was really cool! Please don't get dreadlocks! I have no clue what you look like, but I'm sure you'll look better with ...

I love how this ended. I was wondering what Tamia was doing. And who is this new person? Nutty, if I didn't already have number five at my fingertips, I'd ...

YAY! Part three! Some goofs: "I know. Why did you not finish her? or are you too weak?" Need to capitalize 'Or'. :D And " Yessir. The girl had fled. ...

Hey there Nutty! I LOVED this! It was awesome! Myth did almost get everything, except for this one part: "Ma I saw father! Please mother just hand on." I think ...

Hey there, Oregon Girl! You've got a great start here, but it could stand to be added on to. :) So I think this is somewhere in the middle of ...

Now THAT was an awesome prologue! I really liked it. :D I think it's perfect as is. You don't really need to add on, I think it might ruin it ...

Well, you had me fooled. I was ready to open up my chemistry book to learn more about it! Yes, I'd definitely say it sounds realistic. About Jack. He's not ...

Man, this is awesome! You snatched my attention with the first sentence and held it through out the story. I was practically leaning into my computer screen. I loved how ...

Hey Emily! Nice story. I really enjoyed it. But first, we must defeat all three of your typos! :twisted: So to begin, we will attack number one: Mom and Dad, ...