Lindsaroo

Fand got all the nitpicky stuff I saw, and I agree. This has major potential if you work at it. I definitely like the letter style of it. I haven't ...

I can tell it's obviously personal, but if you want my opinion I'm willing to give it. It's sweet and formal. I think you could have probably broken up some ...

Tayla covered most of what I wanted to point out. (i.e. "Mine" "fall over my head" and the repetition of "faster") I like where you're going with this. I just ...

Hey there! :) I don't have many problems with it. I think it has a good image of the whole "last hope dying out" type of thing. What did bug ...

Hi emmylou, I agree with Snoink on the need for more background information. It's good that you got us wondering though. And I really did like the jump into the ...

Hey jMin, Okay so obviously it's been mentioned that you really abused run-ons. Like, insanely so. You really need to fix those up. My other problem was that you almost ...

I'm just going to get right into this. I really like the idea of him being in her dreams, maybe foreshadowing him which makes an interesting topic for a story. ...

Hey boston, I really liked this. I think you portrayed that hiding panic when the guys are coming out and all she can focus on is seeing him. I loved ...

Hey Eigee, So I'm going to do this a bit backwards but here it goes. It didn't really appeal to me. Mainly because it just seems to be this whiny ...

*chuckles* That was so awesome. I really liked this because it's kind of silly and different. I know the daydreaming twist on stories can be really cliche, but it's normally ...

*giggles* I loved that! The only issue I had with it was when you added more you said He felt his bones break and poke out through his skin. I ...

Hey Olli, I won't really brush on the topic of showing instead of telling because you've been told about it enough. Just that I agree because a lot of this ...

That gave me chills... You're using a common topic to most people, and I think that really helped get a visual across. It's pretty good. You lost me a little ...

Okay, I really just didn't like this at all. It didn't flow very well to me and it doesn't stand out at all. Your poetry needs to grab the reader ...

Hey Miss Slade, Ok, my very first problem, you tore down your poem before I even got to read it! Don't do that. I've made that mistake before, and it ...