Lilith

Ha, wow, I really chanced past this. I haven't been on the sight in some time but I browsed through today and saw this. Anyway, it was quite an enjoyable ...

This could definately use a little work, mostly in refining characters. It has that feeling of "genericness" if thats even a word. The characters just need to get the kick ...

First, when I started to read this, I was like, WTF, a story about a penny. But after I read it, I was like, WTF, a story about a penny ...

Okay, I didn't know what to expect of this piece at first but I really enjoyed it and you have a great concept going. With a bit of time and ...

Well, that definately sounds like high school, especially the mundane parts. bleackh. *gags at the thought of going back in a month* The dialogue is good but it could definately ...

You reviewed my Prologue and its only fair that I review yours. Fairview town is not the most accepting of places to say the least. Only suggestion is to either ...

Okay, the title grabbed me but for totally different reasons. (dirty thoughts, dirty dirty thoughts) but I liked it. It was a quick, very interesting piece. Yes the characters may ...

This is definitely a unique take on a story I've seen attempted many times. ProfessorRabbit made some great suggestions grammatically so I won't go over that. But I will say ...

This piece, I have to say, needs a lot of work but the idea is brilliant. Its lacking description. If you work on it and really describe the actions, the ...

I actually did like the book but at the same time, i read the book for fun. I still have to read it again next year but i'm looking forward ...

so i click pause on my mental remote control This is really the only line that I wanted to comment on. It's not bad, but it has a tone that ...

The idea keeps me interested but it needs a lot of work. I would almost suggest changing the format to something along the lines of a short story. This would ...

It does seem weird that this is listed under dramatic poetry and it should probably be moved but... Anyway, I did think that this was a really well written piece ...

It has a very distinct feel and it has a unique way of reading but you definately need to work it out. The second paragraph should be roughed out a ...

I honestly can't say I saw anything wrong with this story gramaticaly but I was more interested in what it had to say. It's thought provocing and held my attention ...