LexiconDevil

Thank you for reviewing my story. Here's where I return the favor. :] It was a lonely day of ninety-two degrees. This sentence works well in that we understand what ...

The streets were quiet, too quiet. You know who says this a lot? Bugs Bunny. That's whose voice said that in my head. It's not exactly a good start for ...

Honestly, my first impression is that it annoys me. Maybe if I saw how it worked with how the rest of the story would look I can judge it better, ...

First looking at your description of the highway, I sort of wonder... yeah, and? Like I'm not sure why it's being described to us. You don't make the highway interesting, ...

In the center of the impregnable comet there was only one thing, Nulia Tedesicon, the bravest and most feared hunter in all the hills above and beyond. Show us this, ...

Come on now, you can give us more than that! At least 1k words, remember. If you strived to make this the shortest short story ever, you should make your ...

Wow. That was scary. I think the build up was pretty well-done--but the build up itself wasn't scary to me, really. I think the ending with the description of the ...

I don’t know or care how bad your life is. Mine is worse. Want to know why? I live in Cade, the most backwards, out of the way ‘city’ this ...

The warm, fragrant air of my home wades throughout my nose. This sentence would work if it weren't for the "throughout my nose" bit. "Throughout" makes it sound like it's ...

Despite the stalker following her, Hilary York was feeling unusually optimistic. "Despite the stalker following her" is confusing. It suggests that currently, someone is following her right at that mo

The instructor for this particular practice, Instructor Haldan(...) I notice that you don't really use his name that much, but instead call him "the instructor." Just as a rule of ...