Lethero

Hello, porter359. My name is Lethero and I shall be reviewing your story today. Rushing through the night hiding from wandering eyes , the sweat beating down my neck, as ...

Okay, this #1 of the reviews I owe you. She opened the door quietly. Her mom was slumped outside, asleep and clutching an iPhone limply. Sara glanced at the glowing ...

I sit at my desk encouraging myself to complete the last three problems in my Saxon Algebra 2 book, when voices from the living room distract me. As I ponder ...

When she stopped and nervously looked around , he shifted out of her sight. She hurriedly continued home. This sentence sounds odd to me. Consider revising it. The moonlight cast ...

As they twirled around d the room, people stared. Everyone already knew that separately Kathryn and Alastair were the most beautiful youths in the county, but no one had realized ...

Orion thought fast. He didn’t have a weapon, he didn’t have repellent. What should he do? Then Livie said, “O-Ron, he have frens.” Orion didn’t need to know what fren ...

This of which I speak was by some to be terrible, to some it was immoral, and to some, it was unheard of, but to me, it was a place ...

Dead branches whipped my face as I jumped over logs and dodged their arrows. Show me, don't tell me. This is a 1st person, you have more advantage showing what ...

Call me Ishmael. Cliche, no? Besides the cliche part with the name, it was ok. I only have a few problems with it though. It sounds a lot like Michael ...

the title of heir to the throne was , unceremoniously , thrust upon him. On each of its[s]’[/s] four walls There were 8 boys in total Spell it out, the ...

It was evening, warm and breezy. Try: It was a warm and breezy evening. One was a girl, short and curvy, in the middle of the three, then, to the ...

Book 1: Nameless He lived and died a great hero, that Geatish king. Do you mean greatist? Ok, it was a little weird to read. I'm not saying it was ...

Ok, I will do the basic review on this: to a grammar and spelling check, and tell you what I think. This review does not count for the reviews you ...

Changes=bold Italics=Suggestions (look below for more details) Where I’m going, the giant Shoe-Mounds, where humans dare not show their face, are just as their name implies : giant mounds of ...

Ok, first thing: I'm confused on the whole point in the beginning. It doesn't make sense. My thought about it is that the character's mind is wandering around a lot. ...