Leja

Breaking this up into stanzas would make it more easily readable... But Fand had a good thought to convert this to prose. I think this woudl make a lovely story. ...

Can't go wrong with categorizing a poem as "other" :wink: Consider breaking this up a bit more into separate stanzas. This makes it easier for the reader to read, often ...

It's a pretty image, and if you've tried only to record a beautiful day at the beach, you've done a good job. I think that it could be even better ...

The "it" in the third line is vague, and I'm not sure which noun it is referring to, whether it be life or the bird. The second stanza doesn't seem ...

...repetition... To be fair, you warned me in the subject line, so I'll do nothing more than acknowledge that it's there :wink: The first stanza had a nice beat to ...

I wasn't sure at first if Maryling was a name or a misspelling of "marrying". The "Lovers not meant for this world" became a bit tiring after a while, especially ...

I think that the last line of hte second stanza sounds odd... like there are too many things in it. Maybe something like "Surrounds and shrouds"? I don't know. And ...

:( no punctuation... It doesn't bite, I promise. Punctuation helps with everything from clarity to emphasis, and is just pretty darn cool in general. As for content, there seem to ...

In the first stanza, you ask a question, then immediately answer it. Personally, I'd withold the answer until the end; make the reader work for it, and make him/her understand ...

I think you have some good ideas here, but they've been clouded by lengthy words (though I did like the part about sand making castles by itself ^_^). See how ...

The punctuation is used incorrectly throughout (there are also multiple incorrectly spelled words; make sure you catch as many as you can yourself before posting). For this reason, mostly, it ...

Try engaging the reader more in the poem. You say things like "every empty moment reminds me of you" but you leave out the how of it that can be ...

Alot of the images you've used here have been used many times before (such as sea of ____/ _____ as dark as night). This wouldn't be as much of a ...

Double check your punctuation; oftentimes, semicolons are used when there should be a comma or no punctuation at all. The word "mash" in the third stanza doesn't seem to fit; ...

Oops, sorry I critiqued this before... well, I read it again, and here's what I have to add: This stanza: "The little girl looks up at the dark, night sky, ...