Leja

I think you should hold off with the commas at the end of every line; they're distracting and often unnecessary. I also think it would be lovely were you to ...

While I love musical imagery, I think you lean a little too heavily on it to avoid describing anything other than auditorily. Though, this only really occurs in the first ...

Lovely beginning; I felt like I was personally being told a story. shoulders’ slope showed smiles that come hard fade harder, like forcing beauty into stones. A few points, few ...

Your imagery is vague and disjointed. "This pain was not for me", is stated in the second stanza, but the idea of pain it relates to was touched on less ...

I'm going forward in slow motion, turning my tears inot anger so that they do not come spilling over my lashes. Whoops, you're kinda contradicting yourself here; I think you ...

Uh-oh, I don't get it :( you lost me at the smoke and the silver. I think I understand the emotions behind it, but I don't understand what I'm reading ...

Wonderful. It was simple, and the simplicity of it just made this poem that much more appealing. I thought this part was ambiguous: Crash. Boom. Bang. I wasn't sure what ...

I think I like this book the best in the series. It took me a full 12 hours to finish it, mostly because I have a bad habit of pausing ...

“You will do whatever she asks of you, even if I have to send two guards in here and force you to comply.” This doesn't sound very threatening. Only two ...

Erik’s eyes lingered on her face for a moment. His servant was a very gentle, incredibly quiet girl, but he had to admit he enjoyed her company. He had never ...

I feel I must caution you on name choice. I find it easier to mix unusual names you can pronounce with maybe the one odd one that's a little more ...

It was nice in that it was straightforward. I felt like I was in the room with you, but the way things were presented, I felt like I could feel ...

I actually didn't think it was too too short. But maybe I just have a short attention span :laughs: I think it's a good length for a chapter read on ...

He'd been sentenced for murdering two women. He did not deny committing the crime, nor did he feel any remorse for his acts. He had simply become angry, so angry ...

Impatiently winding a strand of polished midnight hair around her ringed finger, Sabah sighed loudly and reclined dramatically on her daybed that was piled high with generous silks and pillows. ...