Leja

I like the title, first of all! I know that this piece is centered around colors, but you might want to use them sparingly, so that they're as effective as ...

I just finished this book and loved it! It's well written and doesn't dip into cliche or sap, or anything like that. I like how the multiple storylines were tied ...

The thing I noticed most was the dialogue. I think it seems more like lines in conjunction with each other than conversational, like there wasn't enough to have a conversation? ...

A question poem! [I think someone wrote an article about this actually; let me know if you would like me to hunt it down for you]. I don't really care ...

Short and sweet! I like. Since it is so short, you should make an effort to make everything as tight as possible. For example, properly space the fifth line and ...

Not much more than vague generalities seem to be happening here. I think you could make everything a bit tighter, spread ideas out through the whole poem, and choose your ...

In all, it seems too... rigid. Like you took a few sentences and line-broke them: esp. dialogue tags after the quote. I mean, it's done, but here it just seems ...

Things always wind up this way. You end up rocking back and forth on your bed, biting your lip, waiting on whatever hell of a life you've created to incinerate ...

It's quite alright if poems don't rhyme; personally, I often prefer non-rhyming poems :D Lovely concept; I like the last line because it gets the point across beautifully, yet it ...

(His weight is unimaginable -- a scarecrow's laugh) A lovely line in itself, but it doesn't seem consistent with the wording of "we once hovered above this bed" [eh, on ...

So, I need a proof reader. I read over this twice, but I'm horrible at finding my own mistakes. Any suggestions would be amazing :) Just some notes, it's in ...

so picture me playing this on harp with a kind of Latin syncopation thing happening, with blues and swing influences there, even a few moments of le Jazz Hot Club, ...

I became a little lost because everything after a point was filtered through a "she thought" or "she imagined" or something, where I think you could weave those in and ...

Haha, well, it seems you've got the trumpeter's personality down to a T. The repetition bugged me though, and I think you could do away completely with at least the ...

At first, I was confused about the first two lines, whether they were meant to stand alone or together. I like the concept of the bandaid, but I think you ...