Legend46

I am in love with how much detail and description you put into this story. Every sentence contained vivid details of the events that were happening. From the first sentence ...

I like your story a lot because it's so descriptive especially in the first paragraph, as mattk mentioned. I thought of "Beautiful Strangers" for a title since he's a stranger ...

Overall I like your story Kit. It is true that her parents were a little irresponsible by forgetting her. But, I can understand how distracted her parents would be, having ...

Hi, legend here. The first thing that I saw wrong was "I am on this some kind of seashore" I don't think you need the word this in the sentence. ...

The story is a little confusing. I think you could add a little bit more details. Maybe you could explain why they were studying the baby and teenagers. Also you ...

Hi legend here. I like the story it's really interesting. The first error that I saw was "His went by the name John". Shouldn't it be " He went by ...

Hey legend46 here. I like how mysterious it is. It just forces you to want to learn more about the main character and what is happening to her. The first ...

That was really funny. I like the "Spider-Man" that's a good idea to make him afraid of spiders. I also liked hyena. One thing I saw that was wrong was ...