a story about funny superheroes

Let me get this straight. If I see you laughing at my story I don't know what I will do to you. I would threaten you with my superpower but since you're gonna read ahead anyway I don't think that will do any good.

I mean my superpower is so unique and whatever but it’s the worst superpower ever! It’s pretty useful for a sixteen year old but I really can’t defeat big time villains with it.

proof? You want proof that my superpower is sucky? Well I’ll give you proof.

Here is your proof!

so it was this suck morning and I was awake because I had never slept (blame the internet) it was like seven in the morning and I was dizzy and drowsy and so I stepped out on the porch to get some fresh air and well-how to put it-let one rip.

I farted okay! There I said it! You happy?

The exact moment that I was farting I felt a mild earthquake or something and I assumed it was because I was sleepy and hallucinating.

So turns out that there was this huge blast from outer space that zapped some people who got superpowers. The funny part is that our superpowers turned out to be the exaggeration of what we were doing the exact moment that thing zapped us.

Yes, I’m not proud of it but I, Carter took a pledge to become from then Farter Carter, savior of the people.

So my superpower you ask? I can make people fart.

It sounds stupid like this but I control free will, I think and it’s really helpful in school when someone messes with me. Even teachers.

Assemblies are the best when I can make every person in the room let one rip and boom: canceled

Anyway enough about me and my not embarrassing powers. Turns out there are tons of other people like me so obviously we had to meet to destroy some super villain right?

.there was a convention the next week and I went.

I didn't know what color farts were so I just went in a brownish green super suit with white clouds all over. And in case you're thinking otherwise no, it was in no way a onesie! It had socks for warmth.

There were tons of superheroes like me there! I met a few who were a bit more unfortunate than me.

There was bullet, who could fire shots. That’s what he told me and I was pretty impressed until I found out that his bullets were manufactured right in his olfactory i.e. nose.

Yes, he was the snot thrower 2000.

I didn't talk to him after that and kept a safe distance, I met the human calculator who got pretty angry when I told him that he was of no use to this world cause we already had calculators.

Many of the girls wore music notes on them and I was afraid to talk to them, not because I have a fear but what if they sing-talk or they have like really high voices that shatter my ears or something.

I didn’t even look at the heart costume people with bows and arrows. There was this one guy who took his cupid costume too far with a pink diaper.

Eek.

I stopped at a booth which held truck loads of food and one man, dressed in a black t- shirt. Who would not stop eating.

"Hey?" I needed to talk to someone ordinary and he didnt even have a costume. Maybe he was a security guard?

"Hey man!" he replied, his mouth oozing the remains of a burrito that had vanished in a flat five second. Was he the Guinness record breaker superhero?

"My name is Farter Carter and you are-?"

"That man" what man? Wait what?

"Bat man? Squat man?" I was confused and unable to get what the dude was saying.

"No, no fat man!" I stood back to take a look at him. He was not fat really but with the rate of his eating he would soon be.

Maybe 'can't stop eating mouth so full' would be a better name.

He ignored my look and smiled. I decided I didn't mind him.

We talked for some time till I saw a guy in really familiar red and blue costume.

"Spiderman?" I asked. Lucky someone.

"He has a fear of spiders" lucky someone who turns out unlucky.

"heh heh heh" I made him fart just for good measure. Spiderman walked away with his face red below the mask.

Two more people met up with us.

We had the hyena whose power was making people laugh with really high notes. She was interesting.

There was Elsa who pretended to have the snow queen's powers and sang let it go every five minutes. After two times hyena just shut her up by making her laugh.

Her laughs were creepy.

"Let it ehyeah ehyeah ehyeah eheheyahyeah go, let it ehyah yeah yeah oh hai hai hai hoi hoi let it-hoi hoi hoi ehyeah ehyeah ehyeah"

You get the gist.

Think she isn't really a superpower person but she got here anyway. I mean did you see her braid- so not authentic.

The girls told us about the rhymer. He was a villain who made people miserable by rhyming things up. We decided to ruin him and destroy his essence.

So we went to a movie theater on Elsa’s sled which was a car with fake snowflakes painted on.

The rhymer emerged in his nineteen century clothes which looked ridiculous and I made it a point to tell him that. Turns out that backfired when I realized that my onesie was wet because Elsa’s car seats were wet and smelly because of swen her pet reindeer who also had snow powers.

Right.

Rhymer was turning twilight into a two hour song which honestly didn't bother the audience much so I just let him. When he emerged from the hall along with a dozen chatting in poetry girls we surrounded him.

"Who are you?

Tell me tell me

What did I do don't,

Kill me kill me"

He spoke in rhymes and his influence got us rhyming too.

"Here come fat man

Farter carter and the hyena

With the snow queen, rapunzel gave her that frying pan" the fat man started out with tap dancing and singing the lines. I was not expecting the rhymer to be so powerful. We were all under his influence and our timing was perfect.

"Were gonna send you to no rhyme land

If there is such a place ya know

Or a beach that gets sand

In places you don't want it to go"

That was me; we were all singing and dancing to the inaudible beat.

Hyena’s laughing was rythmatical and everyone was farting in tune. Elsa sand the first like of let it go like it was stuck on tape and the fat man just chomped on tacos with the beat.

We stepped in a line dance.

The rhymer was standing still.

"You think you can defeat me you stupid, stupid superheroes. I have you under my control

You thought I was so easy to defeat, well you don’t know I am a troll

I will finish you! Hahahaha

Hahahahadadadadadadaada"

I assumed that the 'da' art rhymed with the 'ha' part.

I looked at hyena who looked right back at me. With a nod she unleashed her power on the rhymer.

He laughed loudly and like a crazy person somehow he managed to rhyme even while laughing. At the same time I let him take a huge fart. The voice ricocheted around the hall. His mouth was open with surprise. Fat man took a look at his two burritos and threw them at the villain. One went straight to his mouth and the other to his nose.

Rhymer sat down on his knees when fat man whispered.

"The one in his nose was chili infused!"

We all wanted to become surprised but we kept our mouth shut because fat man held another burrito in his hands.

Elsa ultimately stepped closer to the rhymer and san let it go seven times before he burst into tears and promised never to rhyme again. I didn't know how much he meant by the promise because he promised it to us in a rhyme but no probs.

We high fived ultimately and went off in our sled.

This was the story of me, carter and his amazing adventures which were all recorded in tape until swen unleashed his snow powers on the tape.