Lauren2010

Hey! I really liked this chapter. I only have a few problems with it... I walked into the living room and froze. Something didn’t feel right. I looked around but ...

Hey there WritingSpitfire! Sorry it took me a few days after the PM but I'm here now! :) Well I really love your characters and their interactions. Crys and CJ ...

This was an interesting piece but as a prologue...not so much. I don't feel like it accomplishes much in the way of a prologue. It forshadows a bit, but in ...

Hey there Durriedog! I'm Lauren and I'll be your reviewer today. I really liked this. It is a very interesting idea, and I would like to see where it goes. ...

Welcome to YWS RoxanneDeMonica! I'm Lauren, and I'll review for you today. :) I really enjoyed this poem. As Conrad mentioned, you managed to convey an emotion subtly and that ...

I very much enjoyed this poem! I'm personally one for colorful vocabulary and you used it perfectly here. The story the poem tells is great as well. Its simplicity balances ...

Wow, slow down! I'm sorry but this was so rushed. It's okay to take things slow and let them develop in a way that lets the reader become hooked. Prologue ...

Hey there. I fail to see how "dark oblivion" relates to winter and snow. You go straight from the darkness to snow. Snow is white (and not dark). Maybe I'm ...

Hello there :) I really liked this poem. Being alone is something everyone needs sometimes. On to the nitpicking... Your stanzas aren't the same length. They don't even hold a ...

Lovely! I'm the same way, I'm not much for writing poetry. Prose is my thing. I see others have agreed. That's good, people can relate to your poem. People like ...

Hehe, I adored this. It was quite witty, and made me laugh a few times. Fruit really is a rather wonderful thing, isn't it? Though, as a poem it was ...

I'm going to echo the others and praise your language. Your words are beautiful, and very descriptive. I was fine to understand most of them, except for denouement... could you ...

First thought? "I lost". If you don't understand that, good, don't try. It will eat your life. Anyways, I enjoyed this. I don't think any sort of game needs to ...

Hey Kamas! I really liked this poem! (And the picture it goes with as well). I love your descriptive word choice (perhaps not the right term...oh well you'll get what ...

Wow, this is really long. A quick tip, post things one chapter at a time and you will get much more in depth reviews that will help you more inthe ...