L5na2

This piece has a lot of potential although I would suggest a flashback to when they were in the castle. Have the men muttering with dismay show us through dialogue ...

I love the story so far, but a few suggestions: I would break this part up a little: "Papa! Papa! Tell us the story of King Tristan , and his ...

this piece of work is both sad and very touching. When I started reading it I felt the pain in it as if it were my own. It was beautifully ...

you sent a very powerful message in your poem. I think that is a secret wish of everyone except for those who wish to inflict pain on others. It was ...

I really like the sense of foreboding that is created by your character not being able to sleep and preparing herself for what she subconsciously knew was coming, but something ...

That was a very unique way of describing what was going on with the lady knight, but like your other reviewer said I didn't really understand why the other knight ...

this is a very interesting concept. I see why you put that first part in but I don't know that it was really all that necessary, it made it kind ...

one I'd just love to say that that like Zibbe I was glad for the alternate ending I was so sad when Rue died. I have to agree that you ...

I'd like to say that I started reading this and it didn't really grab at my attention. When I read it I also felt like the atmosphere was so unhappy ...

Okay first off I would like to say that was really cute. I couldn'thave imagined a more perfect girl for Gale, but I just felt like it was a little ...

okay like Blink said it feels rushed and doesn't really flow well. I would really like to say I got something from the character,but I didn't I mean you implied ...

Okay first off I want to say I really love the way you described the concert and atmosphere. The guy that came into is a seemingly interesting character and explained ...

Okay I just don't really understand where this was going. I mean it didn't feel smooth saw the compare and contrast of the cop and Eric.... but after that I ...

Okay I like the concept behind this and I really like the feel of Sammy's character so innocent. But just a few things I'd like to point out... I would ...

First off I really like your story and main character. But I have a few suggestions... where thegirlandthepen said to delete the sentence... “We would be delighted!” Jazz gushed as ...