Published August 4, 2011
You reach for me
But even your long arms aren't
Close enough to grab hold
Instead they miss me
Barely scratch the surface of who I am
And who I'm meant to be
You are the fountain of which I drink from
But you do not give me the strength I need
You cannot be my sole token of survival
You cannot be my true love indeed
I had learned time and time again
That I can not find completion in any man
Yet when I look into your eyes
Your blue, blue eyes
I find hope
Hope that maybe just this once that things will be different
That maybe just once I had found what I needed
In you
That maybe just this once I would be happy
Content
Loved unconditionally
But that's too much to ask of you
Isn't it?
Isn't it too much to hope for
When someone that should have loved me
Never could
So why should you continue to reach for me?
When I am a porceline doll that's been dropped
Time and time again
Until there is no shred of rememberance
No portion that has not been broken
Nothing that shines a light on who I am
Or who I used to be
I reach for you
But my arms are not long enough
To even touch the tip of your fingers
That are outstretched
And reaching for me
How I wish to pull your arms around me
To comfort myself with you
Because only when I'm with you
Do the things of the past seem to disappear
You don't seem to care that I'm a broken doll
That's been shattered
Stepped on
Broken into so many pieces
That I'm no longer who I used to be
And for that I thank you
Even if I cannot touch you
My heart reaches for you
And I try to kiss you once more
For coming to me when I needed it most
To kiss my pain away
Even if you couldn't kiss me with your mouth
Your heart was even better
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138,152 Literary Works • 672,076 Reviews
Aaow, this was so saaaad, but still touching and really truuuly amazing to read!
You must add some punctuation though because it's hard to know when it's okay to breathe... so it gets choppy and cuts the flow. This is not necessary because your lines are so short anyhows, but personally I like some space between lines at times
Good Luck & Keep Writing
Hi,
Love poems are very difficult to write as it is the most common theme for poetry, and I think you handle it well. The opening lines instantly drew me in. I also really enjoyed
"You don't seem to care that I'm a broken doll"
and the final two lines.
"You are the fountain of which I drink from" should be "You are the fountain from which I drink" or "You are the fountain which I drink from."
"Porceline" should be "Porcelain".
No other quibbles from me!
Jas
As far as love poems go, this one I quite liked. It was, as others said, very emotional and thought-provoking. Nice job!
Thank you all for you responses, I was actually very nervous about posting this one. I thought it was going to be another mushy-gushy poem. One of the regular poems that are put down countless of times. But then I figured, this is one of my finest poems yet. And even if it is one of those mushy-gushy ones, it's an honest mush-gushy poem. And I figured that someone might end up liking it. So what the heck, might as well post it. So I'm glad that I did post it hehe
That was so touching, and really means something to me, as that perfectly describes something I know very well. Anyway the words were flawless and perfect, every line was full of emotion.
This was fantastic. You are a brillian writer! I love your flow of words, it is so efforeless. You captured me from the beginning and held me to the end. My favorite group of lines were: "Instead they miss me, Barely scratch the surface of who I am, And who I'm meant to be." That was really beautiful imagery. Please keep writing, you are great at it!
this piece of work is both sad and very touching. When I started reading it I felt the pain in it as if it were my own. It was beautifully written and I'm honored to have read it. I think you wrote something we can all relate to and touch many hearts. Thank you. Keep writing.