Published June 27, 2011
One human is born,
Many others killed.
One creature loved,
Others destroyed.
Take some, give some,
But nothing stays the same.
Yet I cry for more is taken,
Less is given,
More suffering.
This sky painted in mud
Gives me hope,
Hope of something that looms
In the dark,
Hope of something that will change
The very meaning of why we live.
I have a hope that someday
More will be given
Than taken away.
No more war,
No more serial killers,
No more homicide,
No more suicide.
That’s my hope
Reflected in this muddy sea…
What is yours?
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140,552 Literary Works • 673,424 Reviews
Wow. I don't really have anything helpful to say, but I just wanted to say, I really like this piece! It's very meaningful, has alot of depth. Very powerful.
The first two lines are awesome!
A comma after 'This sky', I think. I really like the description 'painted in mud', but I'm not sure why that would give you hope. But that's just my perspective. As a whole, I really like this verse.
Okay, I think it needs a comma in the second line, after 'given'.
I really like how this ends! Nice job. Although, it could use a comma after 'hope', I think.
Overall, amazing work! I really enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing and keep it up!
<..> Kat
you sent a very powerful message in your poem. I think that is a secret wish of everyone except for those who wish to inflict pain on others. It was an honor to read it.
P.S.: my wish is that someday I can make a difference in somebody's life and make it better.
Hello there
Truth here for a review!
Great poem, I loved it
Keep on writing!
-Truth-
Ps: I hope to change the world, one person at a time, with my words, just like you just did.