The Hunger games-Rue- Part one

Wow, nice alternate ending.. finally a happy end for our little mockingjay :')
I have a few just small criticisms to make, hope they'll help!

'Katniss stirred next to me.'
I would put this on the next line, I think it makes more sense.

' " Rue?", Katniss turned(...)'
You don't need the comma after "Rue?"

'There- the perfect spot. Leaping through the trees I quickly came to the spot. (...) I scouted the second spot. (...) I scouted the next spot. (...) Leaping like lightning I got to the spot (..)'
I understand what you mean by 'spot' and how you want to make it clear but I think it would make your writing more effective if you tried to find alternative words. Position?

As for the last part when she is trapped in the net, I think it would help capture the reader if you described more what she felt. I thought that part was a bit rushed.

Bye!

Hey K,
This is cute. I do agree with Zib's comment about Rue's personality. She was one of my favorite characters and I don't think you really captured the esscence of her. Overall it was a nice story though. Nice thought.

one I'd just love to say that that like Zibbe I was glad for the alternate ending I was so sad when Rue died. I have to agree that you should go back a little and explain how they came up with the plan the surroundings. And I'm really excited for the next part especially why Thresh saved her. It's a reallly good start keep going.

Honestly Zib I can only do my own charecters personatily. It's one of my writer flaws.

Hey CW!
I like the way you stated everything in a matter of fact way, it was a different style of approaching Rue's character. Only problem was the lack of description. In the hunger games Rue is depicted as a cunning little girl, and i doubt this is how she would have observed things. I like your alternate ending though, and would like to see how far you could go with that!
Zib

Hello! I am here to review. Before I get to reviewing, I have no intention on hurting your feelings. It is just constructive criticism.(:
Red- Corrections
Blue- Comments
Green- Take out
Pink- Highlighting

craftywriter wrote:I could kill her. It wouldn't be hard. My knife through her heart. She would die peacefully, easily. I couldn't. The mockingjay. She trusted me... Look what this game was doing to me! Killing people- I couldn't. I won't. Katniss stirred next to me.
" Rue?", Katniss turned to me," Today's the day. The careers are going down."

The plan was set. Gripping my small knife I climbed up the nearest tree, scouting my position. There- the perfect spot. Leaping through the trees, I quickly came to the spot. Watching for the careers, I set the fire. Victory! Leaping back through the trees, I scouted the second spot. Leaping down, I set the fire as fast as I could- with no time to think. Breathing heavily, I scouted the next spot. Through the trees I saw it. Leaping like lightning, I got to the spot and began to start the fire. Taking a step to the left to get a twig, something closed around me, swinging me up to the trees. A net. I was dead. Sensing eyes on me I squiggled around trying to get my knife. Fear ran over me. Where was it? Tooting the four-note mocking jay song I taught Katniss. My hand fell around the knife. The eyes felt closer now. I saw a big bushy figure through the woods. Marvel. He raised a long spear in my direction. I was going to die. I could at least try to kill him first. Arching my hand, I got the knife out of my belt. Getting ready to cut a hole in the net, I saw the spear race toward me. Bracing myself I shrunk down, ready to die. Suddenly, the net fell. Grabbing my knife, I cut a hole in my prison and turned to face Marvel. To my shock, he lay on the ground, blood spilling out. I looked around ready to face Foxface. Instead I saw a strong figure with sandy hair run past me. Thresh.Whispering my thanks, I run to find Katniss.