Kylan

Locked by the request of the author. In the future people, please only review recent pieces. No one likes a necroposter. -Kylan

Rosey -- Many thanks for your critique. I went through, did a couple of patch edits, fixed some tenses, added some pronouns, and it may make more sense now. Addressing ...

This was posted in 2005. The author has undoubtably moved on. Please do not resurrect posts. *locked* -Kylan

Shouldn't this belong in the Lyric Poetry forum? -Kylan

Your title is spelled wrong. It should be "Haiku of Despair". -Kylan

Thank you two! I feel like I need to address this: There is still something, though... I want everyone to know that I hate this sentence, too. But I couldn't ...

Yes. This is an ancient post. You can stop commenting on it. I'm no longer pursuing this piece. -Kylan

Whence >> Many thanks for your critique! I would, however, like to point out that this was not so much as an exercise in poetic masturbation and dithering on artaboutart ...

Thanks everyone for the comments! Too kind. Much too kind. :wink: -Kylan

Love McCarthy, love The Road. -Kylan

Winter's Twelfth Night >> Thank you very much for your comments! I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. However, I feel like I need to point out a couple things. 1.) ...

Here's where you can add the song in. You can keep the part with Alfred with his dead son, and have him softly singing the Mockingbird song. Then it would ...

For the curious >> I was very tempted to use the song as the final line (hush little baby, don't you cry), just to wrap things up nicely, but I ...

Revised! -Kylan

Thank you everyone! I want to list here some of the changes I will be making to this piece: 1.) I will be introducing Gil's POV earlier on in the ...