KingKamor

Hi there, just here to review your article! I think that this was a bit too short for what the description of it told me. It said "This is a ...

Hi, just here to review your work! In the first paragraph, you should add more variety to your descriptions. Three sentences start with the same structure (i.e. "Each step was," ...

Hi, just here to review your piece. I thought that the writing here was pretty flat. I couldn't really get a sense of place, so I ended up imagining the ...

Hi, I'm here to review your chapter! "Before she can torment me some more though, the class is dismissed with a vibration of our implanted trackers, day planners, phone and, ...

Hi! I'm here to review your prologue. "in the spot I was stood moments ago." Typo. Should be "in the spot I was standing moments ago." "With my bright white ...

Hi, I'm here to review your chapter. I think that both Empress and Homeschooledteen got the point across that you need to work on grammar, so I will skip that ...

Hi! I'm here to review your short story. I'll start with grammar and then add comments at the end. "... pressed harder on her brain." This is just my personal ...

Welcome to Young Writers Society, young one. I'm hear to review your chapter. Since grammar is my specialty, I'll go ahead and tear into this if you don't mind. Just ...

Hello! I'm here to read and review your short story. Unlike Questio, however, I believe grammar is ever-important no matter how good your writing is, so I'll start with that. ...

Hello! Here to review your short story. "Ever since the incident, things haven't quite been the same." This sounds like a line out of a Resident Evil prologue. I'd suggest ...

In the first line, since it isn't dialogue, you don't have to put the comma before "Apocalypse." "He hadn't wish he slept long" Should be "He wished he hadnt slept ...

(sorry, forgot to click the review tag) I'll get right down to business. I think the first sentence should stop after "too much". Otherwise, it feels too long for the ...

I liked the little addition at the end, but I don't feel that the rest really builds up to it adequately. We aren't really told what the ability to See ...

I'll start off with grammatical stuff. First, I suggest learning how to write in the active voice. Using your first line as an example: "All the dwarves had heard the ...

From the get-go, you use words with the -ly suffix a lot. I think it was Stephen King who said that, while using -ly words is fine and dandy, overuse ...