Young Writers Society

Haha, this was funny, and for some reason, it's rare that I find funny things on YWS (I do not think that I have been looking in the right places a.k.a, never clicked the 'humor' link). You have a quirky writing style, and it reminds me of how I used to write... or probably still do write... Either way, it was funny.

A little technical stuff:

Why is the word 'paid' bolded? I understand that it's outrageous that geeks get paid to do this but I don't think that particular word should be bolded because at first it made me think that it was the most important word in the entire article (and it isn't).

The parentheses are excessive. Look at me being a hypocrite here. I have this problem too! They're just so great for adding in side thoughts and everything! I love them! But sometimes they get too excessive. I know it's fun adding side notes, but we must stop using so many parentheses in our writing especially so Microsoft Word won't flip out on us every time we do so. So, I think we can get through this parenthesis problem... together! See? See what I did there? That would have been a perfect parenthesis moment but instead I used ellipses! See, we can get through this! And for you, I suggest that you change this sentence:

"At least, that’s what the dictionary recommended (and who would take advice like that from a dictionary, except a nerd!?)"


To this:

"At least, that’s what the dictionary [has] recommended[.] But who [else] besides a nerd would take advice like that from a dictionary[?!]"

See? It still has that comical feel but with less parenthesis.

Enough with the grammar stuff. It's getting a little "long-winded", don't ya think?

Oh! To me, this essay is a little to casual. Like, I used to write just like this. It was always as if I were speaking to someone, which is entertaining, but not always helpful (especially if this is an essay for school, which I highly doubt). Although this, to me, seems like an informal essay, and I'm no expert in essays, but I do believe there is a specific structure to all essays that is meant to be ... I can't think of the word, but they have a little more structure than your essay. To me, and this is not to offend, your essay sounds like a blog entry. Perhaps you should turn it into one or just give this one a little more structure. Don't worry! It's not a huge deal but if this is an essay that's going to be reading/grading this, then you might want to get to work on that.

Lastly, the irony of this article. I thought it was funny that this article was posted on here since, by your definition, most of the people on this website are a bunch of Nerds! By the way, I also like how you try not to attack these kinds of people... in a way. I like how you don't directly attack them for who they are. NERD FOR LIFE!

Well, that's all I've got. Nice job!

Hello.

I skimmed this article and found it lacking a key metric when it comes to articles and essays: structure.

Structure is what gives works readability. By readability, I mean both how easy they are to read and how relatable they are to the general audience. A work that fails on readability will be passed up time and again, because people have no reason to sit through something that's difficult to understand.

Firstly, this work does not have context. Context is a key towards getting people interested in your nonfiction writing, because it answers the key question of: how does this relate to me? Without a breakdown of context, you lack a hook for the work and any reasons for people to keep reading.

What kind of context you give depends on if this is an article or essay. Each type relies on a different way of giving information.

Articles are inverted pyramids. They start with the most general information, and end with the most specific. To take a hypothetical example, the fact a politician is visiting is the most general, the details of his policy and past relations with the country the most specific.

Essays, however, begin with the most specific fact you can give, your introduction ending with a debatable opinion, and conclude with basically a rehash of what you said before that incorporates the evidence you've stuck in your body paragraphs to be more conclusive than your introduction. All body paragraphs work on building up your own opinion.

What you have here is neither format, and the only thing you come close to is an essay. You have a psudoconclusion, but the last paragraph has multiple ideas within it (making new terms, your own solution, and the last line of "be who God designed you to be") which makes it an invalid paragraph.

There is also a serious case of punctuation abuse. You use hyphens (-) when you should be using em-dashes (— or --). Em dashes are used to separate information, hyphens are used to connect words. This does not help your readability, because you are breaking well established norms in punctuation. Humour does not excuse you from these norms. There should be a clear reason behind any breaking of grammar rules (for example, many poets use a lowercase i in their work instead of the traditional uppercase, to show that "i" am not above "you" or anyone else in the poem) and I do not see such a clear reason here. It looks like a mistake.

What you have right now is a collection of your own opinions not formatted in any way that makes them presentable to a wider audience besides yourself. Audience widening is why essay and article structure even exist: it lets readers know what they are about to get into. If you do not tell readers why this piece is important at the get go, then they will skip over it.

Rework your structure, and this essay will be infinitely stronger.

~Rosey

Your definition of "nerd" is a bit extreme. Nerds can be socially interactive, but only if they choose to be. Nerd is NOT synonymous with "social outcast". And what do you do about bleedovers like the Gencon people? That is a highly socially-interactive event comprised of both nerds and geeks, yet the differences between the two breeds are still maintained in that situation. Also, how do you explain nerds that have to attend school or work at a job that requires a dress code? In that case, they would "blend in" to "normal people " *coughs BJU coughs*. So perhaps you should explore what you mean just a little more.

Hope this helps, Lady Johannah @}-

Hi there, just here to review your article!

I think that this was a bit too short for what the description of it told me. It said "This is a compilation of brief descriptions of commonplace terms that we, often unthinkingly, use interchangeably." From this, I thought that it would be a much longer list of terms, like "gamer," and other extensions of nerd/geek like "computer geek" or "anime nerd." I was disappointed at the length and believe you should either make it much longer or change the description to better describe content.

Other than that, I thought it was entertaining, which I believe was the point, so good job!

If there was one more thing that irked me, however, it was the mention of God at the end. Of course, this is just me, but I'm agnostic and found that sentence off-putting. Take from that what you will; you don't need me telling you how to express yourself in your writing.

Keep it up!