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Kaywiia

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Window Full Of Color

    Hey Egunn! I like this poem a lot. I like the emotion put behind it and the general feeling. One thing I would change though, is the repetition of the ...

    Apr 28, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Stars in the fallen sky

    I liked this. However, a few lines for me stuck out as not making sense until you really looked at them: I something impossible chase. Wishing to with one of ...

    Mar 9, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Today I Am Negative

    I really like this for some reason. I can't exactly point out why, maybe it's just because I can relate. One little line sounded forced to me, though. Smiles won't ...

    Mar 8, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Rooftop leaping

    I like this a lot, however, this to me looks a lott more like a poem because of the lack of a chorus. I am not saying every song has ...

    Feb 23, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: You Deserve The Same Hell That You Gave

    I really liked this. I am not a huge fan of putting cuss words into song, but somehow here I thought it really worked. It doesn't look/sound forced at all. ...

    Feb 23, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Dream

    Hi there, I like what you tried to do with this. I loved the concept of continuing to dream. However comma, I have some notes. 1] I feel like expanding ...

    Feb 22, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Sour Milk and Dirty Honey

    I really liked this a lot. I felt like what you were talking about is shown really well through this. I also like the way you presented your material in ...

    Jan 29, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: I'm Still Smirking

    I like this a lot. It's a quick read and I really like that. But it also needs a quick fix. The punctuation seems repetitve and unnesesary. There is way ...

    Jan 29, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: I Can't Keep Secrets

    I really liked this poem. I akm going to take each grroup of two lines, and give you my feedback on them: I’m sick of keeping secrets So they never ...

    Jan 3, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Dear Mr. Santa Klaus

    First of all, I loved this. It was sad, but sweet, though not the best written. Like occsasionalpessimist said, you need to capitalize. Otherwise it looks much less mature. Some ...

    Dec 24, 2010
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: She's Not Me.

    Look at any real song's lyrics on a website. Are there dashes? Never. They drove me crazy to no end. Periods you see sometimes, but now a whole lot. Now ...

    Oct 11, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Yo Quiero Ser

    I agree with Snoik. The first few lines did sound a little akward, but I loved the rest of the poem. I usually don't have much paitence for poety besides ...

    Sep 25, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: ----

    Hey! This poem lacks something for me. I think its the fact I have a hard time really connecting with the emotions. A lot of poems I can feel the ...

    Sep 4, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: For Those Who Fall In Love Easy

    Okay, as far as I can see the grammer was great. But, this read more like sentences. I think if you either took out the periods at the end of ...

    Jul 14, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Treasures of Paradise (A Robin Hood Gang Spinoff)

    Howler, I like this a lot, actually. I think, as far as grammar and punctuation, spelling etc. it was really good. The storyline, also, was very interesting (but that might ...

    Jun 21, 2010


it's ok, death by laughter was always how i've wanted to go out
— Carina