Published April 27, 2011
I glance out the window full of color
I transfer my gaze to the black and white photographs of a once-happy-family
I wonder if they will ever be peaceful again
I find my eye has given birth to a cold salty tear
I feel it slip down the side of my face
I taste the empty-hearted tear, letting it sting my mouth with memories
I pretend to be brave, to laugh it all off
I glance out the window full of color
I glance out the window full of color
I see around my eyes turn red
I feel the tears rolling down my wet cheeks like a waterfall
I sense the Band Aid on my hear tear off again
I unleash all the stored sadness and anger
I dream of the time we were happy
I hope my brothers never feel this pain
I protect myself
I build walls so no one will see me again
I promise to myself i will never let me hurt me again
I glance out the window full of color
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141,433 Literary Works • 674,412 Reviews
I really like this poem and you most defiantly have a knack for writing. You gave us a good amount of imagery and I could sense some of the emotions. I also love the topic. I do think the flow could be a little better and maybe some of the punctuation.
I thought this might sound a little better, but it's you're poem. You do whatever you want with it. Overall, it's fabulous (: keep writing.
Hey Egunn!
I like this poem a lot. I like the emotion put behind it and the general feeling.
One thing I would change though, is the repetition of the first line. Maybe you could only use it as the first or last? Or change it up somehow. Otherwise it gets a little annoying to read.
There's something about the message behind this that I like, though, and I really enjoy your style of writing.
That being said,
Keep Writing!
Kay