Kaylyn

Creak, Went the floor boards as the door slammed against the hinges. Went should not be capitilized. A shadow passed passed her face, she was sure it was just her ...

I like where you are going so far. There was a spelling mistake or two. There is suppossed to be a space before I and am. I also like the ...

Great Job! It was a bit confusing at the beginning but hey thats fine. Also You had a few grammar mistakes. You didn't capitilize at the beginning of one of ...

This story is very hard to understand and I don't think it can stand on its own. I am sure it is a great story but it is very hard ...

Okay there are one or two grammar mistakes, somewhere in the story you spelled realised wrong, it's realized. Janus grinned at his Lieutenant. "Spearmint chewing gum, sir. You want one?" ...

Music bounced from wall to wall, its volume blaring over all competing sounds. Random, colourful lights shone and twirled in the darkness, whilst in the centre of the room drunk ...

Normally I don't read war stories but this was an exception, give yourself a pat on the back this is the first war story i have read. I am going ...

Okay, I really like what you have so far but there were a few mistakes, so I will go line by line. “Riley stop worrying,” exclaimed Sam. “How can I ...

Okay there was a few grammar mistakes, but they have already been mentioned so I won't repeat. I really, really like the story and it leaves me wondering whats next. ...

I really like what you have so far. There are a few mistakes so I will just go line by line. I am the ghost within the walls; I have ...

Midnight Horror Island August 15 I know this was mentioned earlier, but could you give a year? 1:39 a.m. Ring......ring.... Marissa Calhoun burst out of the nightmare by the sound ...

Beep. Beep. Even though I heard my alarm, I didn’t even think about getting up. I was not tired, though. I was in that state you get into right after ...

Okay I am going to critique it so here goes, and also make sure you rate it R because you did use very strong language. Stepping out of his cabin, ...

Okay right now it is sounding a little boring, you have to make a great first impression. You have to make them not able to put it down. The description ...

Here goes: Capitilize your I's and the beginning of your sentances. Mind that you spell things correctly and review your post for any mistakes(like hitting the wrong key typing.) Other ...