Kaylyn

I agree, your grammar's horrible *giggles* but it looks like its already been pointed out. I think its a great story for your history class though. I wish I had ...

[quote] Rictus know that escape was easy, but how could he explain to his parents? [quote] I think you meant knew not know. Other than that, the grammars good. You're ...

Yes, Meggie and Mo are annoying names but thats an original idea, it was different. Reading things that come out of a book is an awesome idea. Capricorn...well I did ...

Please don't take my crits to harshly. It is here to help you. Okay grammar.... You need to put spaces inbetween your punctition. please. I didn't see any spelling mistakes ...

Okay, first off, if I hadn't been so desperate to read it, I probably wouldn't have. You need to break up the paragraphs. It looks very intimidating to the readers. ...

Wow, greatly written story. You're a talented writer. It was a bit confusing at first but it made since when I read on. I prefer happy endings and like them ...

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you did put it up to be reviewed so I am going to let you have it. Time to rip apart this work. ...

Chapter don't have to be that long, I've read several, one right now in fact that has two to three pages to a chapter. Uh you have two additional words ...

Grammar. [quote] He straitened up, and swung an attack again and wasn't surprised when Kate quickly flicked her sword to stop it with clear ease. [quote] I think you meant ...

It is short but it is a prologue. I don't have that much to critique on though. So far, so good. Its really great. I didn't see any major grammar ...

I would suggest you out in some detail and add some to your piece. The Burger Monster was pretty funny. Is the character a boy or a girl. Sorry, but ...

Wow, that's coming along pretty good. I didn't see any major grammar mistakes, but I don't look for those anyway. It's pretty short, and there is enough detail in my ...

I love the story line, I just think you couldn't get away with writing a whole series like this because well, its confusing. It was exciting, and I started connecting ...

Wow. Very descriptive, although I prefer happy endings, you wrote this piece beautifully and thats what counts. You did great on the imagery, unfortunately I could see everything happening, :) ...

Wow, great writing, although at the beginning you have alot of telling instead of showing. This piece was amazing. Do you have it finished yet? Or are you just posting ...