Prologue
She felt her self coming back. She was finally stirred from her great slumber as the first atom of her being was put into place. She could feel life once again calling her. Positive intent was blasted into the mortal world as she formed, her old memories deserting her, while she took her first step into the human world. She opened her eyes to see beautiful plants of red and green all around her and her stone in her hands, ready for its new master. She turned to find a man before her, young and handsome in a long cape. At his belt lay a stone with yellow and blue markings on the surface. She stared at him long and hard, and he stared back at her. She held out her hand and he took the stone, attaching it to his belt. He smiled at her, and this time he reached out.
“What’s your name?” He asked, his voice ringing with charm.
“Allicus,” She replied, “I am your servant, and to serve you until the end of your days, at your side forever, unless bid otherwise.”
He smiled at her.
“I don’t want to be your master, Allicus. I want to be your friend,”
Allicus smiled back warmly and took his hand, following him out of the jungle.
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Canary word: Present
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125,004 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Wowzers! This is really good! I love it! You're a really good writer! I can't wait to read to next chapter, which will be in like a minute!
Well, if you need halp with anything you can always ask me!
-Krisy
Hey if you're lookinh for something to review, please let me know what you think about my latest book, Looking Glass, or Half-Blood. I heard their pretty good.
ok, i'll go do my reveiws now before i get into trouble. Thanks for the praise!
Hey, great prologue. There is a rule on here about doing two reviews before you post something. Good work though and tell me when you post more.
~N~
Wow, thank you so much for the glowing praise. So far the only reveiws i have had are from family so i am glad to hear an outsiders opinion, really thanks it means a lot
It is short but it is a prologue. I don't have that much to critique on though. So far, so good. Its really great. I didn't see any major grammar mistakes that jumped out and slapped me in the face. Let me know when you continue this piece. I would like to continue it and get an oppurtunity to rip it apart. *laughs manically* then coughs. I uh meant review. Good luck with your writing.
That sounded awesome! it is the kind of book i would love to read, im so curiose to find out about what happens - no bad comments, it was perfect!