Kaylyn

Okay, Rueben, not one of your best pieces. It was confusing and I have no idea what is going on. I can tell that it was a sudden thought, although ...

You are horrible... you left me on the edge. WHy? You need tocomewith the follow up. Other than the factthat you left me hanging, the story was a nice happily ...

Great Story! Sorry that I have no review for you, if you want me to do an extensive review PM me. I just couldn't bypass this story after I read ...

A young woman walked down the dark empty hallway. The wooden floor creaked under her as she took another step down. She stopped walking for a moment and stared at ...

Oh, I love this latest chapter, I wish you would get more of Molly in though... You have as usual done a good job. I didn't see any grammar mistakes, ...

Okay, time for me to rip apart *coughs* I mean review your work... I like the idea but I think that you need to have a better opening sentance. Draw ...

In this story you jump around. Is Jade vistiting her dad or going to visit him for the summer or what? Its a bit confusing. I understood your spanish and ...

The rain came down hard as if it was being pulled down by an unknown force. The wind howled like a pack of wolves as it blew across the deserted ...

Okay intersesting beginning, it really drew me in. Goog job. Grammar, I didn't see any grammar mistakes, but then again, I don't look for those. Okay I think you can ...

Great going, I didn't see any grammar mistakes, but that doesn't say much. I'm not very good at looking for grammar mistakes. Anyways loved it, please PM me when you ...

Okay, I would suggest that you shorten the paragraphs, just to make it easier for your readers. It also makes it easier to critique. Somtimes I'll get to reading and ...

Very good beginning. I love it. Please continue with it! Now on with the critique. I didn't see any major grammar mistakes, so good job in that area. [quote]His tawny ...

Wow... I LOVED LOVED LOVED IT!!!!! Okay now that I got that out of the way, you had no major grammar mistakes or punctition that I saw when I read ...

Wow, long chapter there, you may want to break it up. I find that it helps me when I do line by line critiques. From what I've read it looks ...

Yes I agree. You might want to work on your grammar. Describe your surroundings more. focus on the MC we know nothing about them. Good idea though. I love reading ...