Kale

There's a huge blank space in the middle of this. Why is it there? If you put it there to separate the two halves, then there's no need for it ...

Hang a moment You're missing a word here. nearing until less than This just reads awkwardly, and I believe you're missing at least one word in here. "Well--" George said. ...

This was an interesting format for your poem, and I like how you started each stanza with a consecutive letter of the alphabet; it was quite creative. However, as the ...

charring the forty kg worth I think it would be better if you wrote out "kilograms". The first part of the first poem is my favorite. The imagery in it ...

from morn til nigh I know what you meant, but "nigh" means "near", and "from morning until near" just doesn't sound right or make sense. I suggest just using "night". ...

This was interesting, and you had some good imagery going, but it was really too disjointed to really appreciate. There's no apparent connection between the items you mention, which leaves ...

The repetition, which I thought would annoy me, actually didn't annoy me at all, which was great. I did think, however, that this poem was a bit simplistic and could ...

Lights lit up, imitates the glowing of the stars. Tense shift. "Lit" should be "light". I suggest you find a synonym for one of the lights because it does sound ...

This poem made me chuckle at the end. It's not bad at all, though it could use some improvement. Namely, the punctuation and capitalization need work. Poetry follows the same ...

The first thing I noticed was that you have punctuation. It's not always correct, but you have it, and that is great. The thing about poetry, though, is that it ...

The constant repetition started getting on my nerves, to be absolutely honest. Maybe it wouldn't irritate me as much with music, but since that isn't exactly possible, formatting this so ...

Undrank drink. Should be "undrunk". Easiest way to keep it straight is that you say "that drink was not drunk" and not "that drink was not drank". In which this ...

Suzanne was quite thorough, and her advice is sound; I suggest you listen to her. All I really have to add is some advice regarding formatting and imagery. The format ...

I tried to read this, but I couldn't because the formatting made my head hurt. Everything was just lumped together into one mass of letters. It didn't help that the ...

Hey there. Since this was written so long ago, some of the things I mention may not apply to you now. Still, there are a couple of things about this ...