Kale

This struck me as being a bit simplistic. Rather than showing us the emotions, you just tell us the actions. There's nothing particularly emotional unless you consider sudden screaming and ...

I'm not sure what to make of this. On the one hand, it's so far-fetched that it's hilarious, but on the other hand, it's so far-fetched that it makes absolutely ...

Help me accomplish, free me from anxiety - Accomplish what? You might want to trade out "accomplish" for a more definite, for lack of a better word, word like "succeed", ...

I still lay in the grass Should be "lie" since it's an ongoing action. Don't you just love irregular verbs? For the most part, I liked the imagery in this; ...

Hello there. I am Kyllorac, and I'm here to review you this fine evening. First things first, the structure of your poem could use work. How a poem looks and ...

There is an article on apostrophes in the Knowledge Base that I think you might find helpful. You can read the article here. Basically, plurals do not have apostrophes. I ...

It’s addressed to Estrella Jaime. That's a rather interesting name. No return address Missing punctuation. I return inside my house This just struck me as odd phrasing here. I blame ...

First things first, you used a lot of tildes (~) to separate your notes from the story, and they stretched the page. In the future, you might consider using fewer ...

I hated this poem. Completely irrational, but I hated it nonetheless, and I shall attempt to vocalize/pinpoint exactly why. Beware, for this shall be LONG and ramble-ranty. But you already ...

Hello there, psudiname. Here to review, as requested. Since you've already gotten a number of in-depth reviews on each chapter, I'll just focus on my general impressions of the story ...

“ Council is asking you be restricted to the palace.” Council is the body of people that make decisions, and the people on them are councilors. Counsel is what is ...

Hello there, Seph. Here to review as requested. First things first: I agree with you that the title needs changing. When I first read it, I was ready to flail ...

Here I am to review as requested. The one thing I noticed about this chapter was all the redundancies. Part of it has to do with the infodumps, and part ...

Hello there Elo and brother. I shall be reviewing you today. If something comes across as a bit harsh, know that it's not because I dislike you; rather, I'm trying ...

You put your pants on one leg at a time—just like everyone else. Actually, I don't. I've always gone the route of sitting on my bed and slipping both legs ...