Kale

If at any moment you have a dark cloud looming above you, I think "looming overhead" would flow better rhythm-wise. But in that moment where you need nothing, I think ...

Sorry to see you go. But you will be back. YWS has an unnatural tendency to make its siren call heard years later, when the time is ripe and you ...

Just glancing at this, I think I died of a tilde overdose. Please hold while I revive myself. --- So yes. Tilde overdose. I can see why they are placed ...

Solidly written, cute little moral, but I can't really find the sci-fi in this. The mention of Selkin makes me think the other side of the spec-fic coin, and this ...

The convicted rapist and murderer had escaped from police custody. The 16 year old was charged with raping and killing another girl around his age. He has long shaggy blonde ...

This was very short. Aside from that, there's not much I can say except that it flowed well and the repetition actually worked pretty well, considering how short this piece ...

Cute. Hardly original though; that little mnemonic has been around for ages. Posting up things that aren't yours is never a good idea; it is usually plagiarism, and it can ...

The line breaks really threw me off and kept throwing me out of this piece. I think this would at least read more smoothly if you combined some of the ...

I am struck by the similarity of subject with your other set of lyrics. This set, however, is much easier to relate to since you have them grounded in the ...

A couple of things before I start the review proper: You might want to put the introduction/explanation under a spoiler. Some folks like to get to the work first without ...

Amelia already made some good suggestions for the first stanza, but I think you could also take it in a more fanciful direction, namely by combining the ideas in several ...

Hey there. First thing I noticed was the space between each line. It's a bit distracting, so if you could edit them out, it would make it easier to read ...

Make me out of plastine, So you can mould me how you like. If I could tell you how much I liked these lines, we would be here all day. ...

I wish I could say I liked this poem, but I didn't. There are a couple of reasons. The first reason is how fragmentary every stanza is. Perhaps it is ...

Two main issues with this. First, the period at the end of every line. Second, the forced rhyme. Having a period at the end of every line is very jarring. ...