Kale

The beginning half of this felt quite disjointed in the not-good way. Asides like this: see I like to manipulate people sometimes, and Again, I like to be overdramatic, so ...

First things first, hooray for experimentation! It's always fun to see and try out different styles of writing, though in this case, I'm not sure this style was the best ...

Just a note before I begin the review proper. Up at the top, first-thing, you have your full name and a copyright notice. Having those two things right there isn't ...

they knew better than to piss them off. Oh, missing "than", how you alter the meaning of a sentence! It's amazing, really, that such a small word (that isn't "yes" ...

This poem was very short, and not in the good way. There's really nothing particularly poetic about it, outside how you've arranged things into separate lines compared to paragraphs and ...

also: fyi, he doesn't wash his hands when after using the bathroom The "when" there really bogs down this line. my aunt, the broker, isn't actually broke. A broker is ...

You were the gogurt when I was the yogurt and although I had better grades, you were invariably deemed cooler. This sentence just really captured everything that came before and ...

Crimson goo dripped down, slowly going into the drain with a gurgle. Blood really isn't gooey unless it's old and half-congealed. Using a word like "goo" also makes the description ...

The first two haiku are a bit uninspiring, mainly because they're not very specific. The trickiest part about haiku is creating a vivid, specific image with so few words/syllables, and ...

The weighty glass of the snifter was shattered across the counter and the man, who had, until now, been sitting in front of it, sipping cognac pensively, was eating the ...

Looking at the isolated stars, wondering if you feel the same, they twinkle brightly with optimism. So, who is doing the looking and wondering in these lines? "They", or someone ...

Home lingers in my accent. Omnomnom. I love it when images are simple yet vivid like this. A very strong first line, unfortunately, the rest of the stanza doesn't quite ...

He could not believe Max could be so stupid. This pyjama guy, whoever he was, was insane. He ran away from a goddamn hospital, and yet Max was willing to ...

Use my name. This line is so much shorter than all the others, it breaks the flow of rhythm and, as a result, the rhyme. Rhyme relies upon a consistent ...

I'm dying of thirst, and you are my brine. Interesting analogy, though I'm not sure it fully works. After all, wine is drunk, but brine cannot be. The symptoms are ...