Kale

The ground was torn apart, roads split amd large gaping ravines were created as the ground tore itself apart, like this earth was splitting itself in two. This sentence is ...

I'm not sure what you were trying to accomplish with this. A parable, perhaps? If so, this needs a lot of work because right now, it reads like a summary ...

The first thing that struck me about this poem is how repetitious it is. While repetition can be used to great effect, there needs to be a decent amount of ...

“What is she doing here? Who invited her?” she whispered to her friend, looking at the girl that had just entered the room. She was dressed in a plain white ...

Or six-thirteen. Whatever. This made me laugh. I shrugged and followed suit , carving my way through the throng of quietly competent Walkers (comma) and took the right turn. A ...

Yes I know there are some capitalization errors. The computer at school screwed it up and I never got around to fixing it That's no excuse for not proofreading or ...

The overlord did not look kindly on lateness, but the news he carried was worth more riches than the whole outer edge of the galaxy possessed and he hoped that ...

Hello nijjhar. Since this has been lurking in the back of the Works with 1 Review queue for a while now, I'm here to knock it out. And the first ...

Hello there, Angie. Since it's always sad to see something go unreviewed for several days, here I am to fix that. Your title says this is an oratory for a ...

Hello there, Alwins. First things first, this is in desperate need of paragraphing. Desperate. Having everything clumped together as one massive block of text is visually intimidating to potential rea

Hello there, MARYANN. Since it's always sad when something goes unreviewed, I'm here to fix matters with a review. With that said, this poem really doesn't look like a poem, ...

Hello there, AyameAya. Since this chapter of yours has no reviews, I'm here to put an end to this sorry state of review-less-ness. Fair warning though: I haven't read the ...

Hello there CactusGirl. Since you haven't gotten any reviews yet, I'm here to fix that. Since you're having problems with your paragraphing, I figure this article might help. It will ...

Normally, I would be advising against having a prologue as they tend to be there only to be there and a lot of readers skip over them, but the prologue ...

First things first, I'm wondering where "first" is. You have second consecutively all the way through tenth, so it feels strange that you didn't start at first. Since the headings ...