love

Hey there,
I'm musicgirl5001 and I don't know if this will be a long review, so we'll see. Alright so I think you should put more to this, but it's fine this way though. Maybe add like how does love feel in your perspective and how love feels in the opposite sex's perspective. You can also put that love is continuous and it never ends. Hope this helps. I really like the lyrics though.

Peace out,
musicgirl5001

Hey there~
It would be cool if you edited this into formatting, but the rhyme makes it easy to see where I think you'd have put linebreaks anyway, so I can get into the review.

I think you have three jumping off points strung into a poem skeleton and not an actual poem. Like, I think there's value in making people think about your words instead of leading them every step of the way, but your comparisons are made and dropped so quickly.

Like, what do you even mean that love becomes cultural? I want to think about it. I want to ponder it and get inside this idea, but you just drop the word and I don't even know where to start, where you started to get an idea of where I can start with the comparison.

Bring in maybe the beginnings of the thoughts you have that made you make this comparison in the first place and we'll have a place to start even if you don't lead us through to completion with a poem dedicated to the idea. Which you totally could do. This could be three different poems about cultural love, seal love, and whole love.

But on to that.
"It's like a seal?" What does that mean? And how does a seal get made for people to feel? The boundary of the sealed space? The texture of the seal itself?

Lastly, I think there may be a grammatical error in the last line: "it's like given in your whole". I can't make heads or tails of it. With expansion, you might find where the error came from and be able to fix it, but I can't even guess at it.

See what you can do with this, and keep pushing further.
PM me with any questions or comments. Or leave a wall post. I just don't get notifications for replies to reviews.

Good luck!

Hey, so im new on here and i did a poem similar to the way your's is set up. Try a different format like
Love is natural
Gradually is becomes cultural
its like a seal made for two Ect. At first i didnt understand why people couldnt understand the way i wrote it, but its just i dont know where that sentence ends you know? I really liked it , just try a different format

Hello there, MARYANN. Since it's always sad when something goes unreviewed, I'm here to fix matters with a review.

With that said, this poem really doesn't look like a poem, mainly because the line breaks are nowhere to be found. Sometimes the editor eats line breaks, so something other people have done is copy their piece into Google Docs, copied it from Google Docs, and then pasted it into the editor to preserve the formatting. If you don't have Google Docs, you can always try copying from a simple text document program, like Notepad. It won't preserve your italics and other such things, but it should preserve your line breaks at least.

With that said, without having the line breaks visible, this poem is really not easy to follow at all. This isn't helped by the lack of punctuation, either. You also have (what I'm guessing to be) some strange phrasings/extra words near the end that add to the confusion in this poem. For instance, "made for to feel" is really awkward and no one actually says that. You also have "it's like given" where the "like" is completely unnecessary, which is not a good thing to have in a poem.

Because poems are so short, especially ones as short as this one, every single word must serve a necessary purpose. If a word is unnecessary, it needs to be cut out, otherwise it hurts the poem by bloating and diluting the meaning.

Overall, you need to go back in and add line breaks to this. Adding in some punctuation wouldn't hurt either. Also, cutting out the "like" and rephrasing the "for to feel" would also help improve this poem.

I feel like Gertrude Stein might like this, but I also feel like Horse_ebooks from Twitter would like it too.