Kafkaescence

Here I am, as requested! I usually prefer critiquing works on a more specific scale, but I see you've already gotten a lot of that. So I'll make an exception ...

Looks like you've already got a good amount of critique already, but I'll give it a go. The Samaritan is burning. I shields shield my eyes from the flames, stumbling ...

Chapter Two: An awakening I woke with a start. Looking up I saw my My mother, a small woman with a tiny waist and slender legs, was looming over me. ...

I opened my eyes this morning Just like I always do I opened my eyes this morning The repetition here does little justice in terms of the point you are ...

I'm so sorry, I just figured out that my last review was on an earlier version. You can just ignore that one if you want, as I see that this ...

Auditions are so trying. Don't think "trying" is quite the right word here. A young actor catches my eye They can lead to so much crying. Okay, I really am ...

The feeling stands Determined upon frail limbs; The line break makes this phrase sound strange when, if the line break were to be relocated, it could sound find. Its casing ...

First off, you spelled "heart" wrong in the title. Just thought you might want to know that. My heart is in the top drawer Beating quietly in the corner "Corner" ...

The addiction is sweet I’ve heard it if not a thousand times, I really do not like this passive, negative approach to a statement. But you're in between a rock ...

Chapter One: The End The fog had lifted by the time I reached the corner corner of what? . The night air was cool and crisp, and a soft breeze ...

So, as you requested a review for chapter two, I think it may be more appropriate to start with the preface and just take it from there. I'd never been ...

It was a chilly evening in late November, and Little Craig was on his way home. Upon seeing Little Craig, most people would remark (not out loud, of course) that ...

*tears up dramatically* Every so often, she gave me a smile and her blue-green eyes would come alive and make me forget about everything else Oh, so cliched. She was ...

HAW! I HAVE DONE IT! Almost.... TAKE THAT! *dances hysterically* I saw you in my dream. Yes it was you. Perhaps "I believe it was you" would work better. It ...

WHIR! You can't catch me. There’s something in the air, Not sure a comma is right here...how'bout a semicolon? can’t you feel it? You feel the care in it but ...